Annie Kaszina Most people can’t get behind the wheel of a car for the
first time and drive away like a seasoned driver. But one or two can.
Most people can’t sit down at a piano for the first time
and play a Mozart sonata; although you might find the odd one or two who can
play whatever they hear by hear.
Most people won’t put their trust in someone who they know
is emotionally damaged, had a ‘hard life’, and a history of troubled
relationships, and achieve their happy ever after. But one or two do.
"Alone" is the word, above all others, that strikes fear into the heart of every woman who finds herself forced to walk away from a relationship. Even when that relationship is hopelessly unsatisfactory.
Today I received a call from a client whose marriage has ended after
30+ years. She was, she said, trying to remain positive. She was also
terribly worried about the prospect of spending the rest of her life
“alone”.
Verbal abuse is, correctly speaking, verbal violence. The old adage says: “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” It’s also an utter nonsense. Words, if spoken by someone whose opinion of you, you care about, can shatter you into a thousand pieces.
One of the key stages in abuse recovery is making the
shift from isolation into a sense of community. Once can look past the blinkers of isolation, you see many
wonderful people along your way – including yourself.
This was sent to me by ezine reader Karen Hammond. Karen’s sharing brought light to the
domestic violence recovery group at my local refuge. I hope it does the same for you.
Anyone who has been reading this blog for the last
few months will already have heard about the Billion Dollar Man. He’s the guy who, having grown up in a climate of domestic violence wants to make £10 Billion to build a refuge in every town and city throughout the world.
is often a scowl at home” (Alfred, Lord Tennyson)
It’s often said that when Life, or The Universe, has
something to teach you, it keeps putting that lesson in front of you until you
finally get it.
(Equally, you could argue that sometimes you miss
something the first zillion times, because you’re not programmed to notice
it. So you keep attracting it in the
first place because you don’t see it coming.)
On a personal note, 2005 is ending with one of those unwanted gifts that may have to grow on you.
I recently spent time in a specific environment that I had chosen, in preference to various others, in the hope that it would be safe and nurturing.
As luck would have it, it was neither. In fact, it was extraordinarily bruising. Not only was there a dead ringer for my own dear ex – in terms of both physical appearance and behaviour – but there was, overall, an exceptionally high level of verbal abuse. (The verbally abusive behaviours enumerated in my free quiz at www.joyfulcoaching.com were ably represented.)
In the last couple of weeks a with
another nice man has set me thinking. This man is a high-flying executive who teaches negotiation in the UK
and abroad. For some reason I told him
how I successfully negotiated a problem I was faced with while staying in Rome
recently.
Do you know that exciting and unnerving feeling when
different areas of your life come together in an unexpected way? It happened to me last week at a
conference. I was there in a different
capacity, as a Money Gym Coach, and the subject of the conference was Wealth
Creation.
The last couple of weeks chez Kaszina have been overshadowed by the figure of The Driving Instructor; in point of fact the
short, stout figure of ‘Kev’, as of today my daughter’s ex-driving instructor. Kev presents as a twinkly, jokey sort of bloke, short on words
but long on salt of the earth good humour.
Unfortunately the good guy veneer is pretty thin. Underneath it lies Essex Neanderthal Man, a
macho type who really doesn’t like women – and he had us fooled for a little while.
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