Domestic abuse

Sarah Harding – Another Domestic Violence Statistic

Sarah Harding of Girls Aloud is caught up in a bitter war of words with her ex Theo de Vries.  She says he attacked her.  He says she attacked him, and he merely restrained her to protect himself.
It makes for a sordid tale.  So, ‘right thinking people’ everywhere – that is, the kind of people […]

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From “damaged goods” to feeling good

What do women almost always tell themselves when they leave an abusive relationship?
One thing they tell themselves is that they are “damaged goods”.
Isn’t it great how we think of ourselves as merchandise rather than human beings? 
I haven’t heard anyone come right out and say the words “shop soiled” yet, but damaged goods is a phrase […]

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Why you should watch “Tyrannosaur”

“Tyrannosaur” is a low budget British film about domestic violence that has won several prizes, received almost unanimous critical acclaim, and is getting precious little exposure.  Few cinemas are showing it and, when I went to see it there were only 6 people in the cinema – including myself and my companion.
Of course, there are […]

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Dreams, devils, pheromones, and you

How does Mr Nasty do it?  How does he worm his way into your heart, your bed, and your head – usually in exactly that order?  Even if you’ve known him for a while, and found him thoroughly objectionable, the time comes when he dons his Prince Charming mask.  He’s allergic to it, so he’s […]

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Real Men Don’t Hit Women iii

 Real men don’t hit women.  And they don’t use words to hurt, humiliate, diminish, or reject them, either.
Abusive men do.
Enotionally abusive men can – and do – systematically smash women to pieces without ever raising their hand.
When emotional abuse happens to you, more often than not it seems to be a spontaneous outpouring of fury […]

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The summer of the year my divorce finally came through saw my garden covered with white flowers.  I’d never seen it so festive.
Unfortunately things were not quite what they seemed…
Trying to eject my abusive husband from my life was one of the most tiring things I ever did.  Because of the endless emotional turmoil.
Because I […]

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Real Men Don’t Hit Women – part ii

The message: real men don’t hit women should be perfectly self-explanatory, but is it?
What exactly do we mean by the term “hit”?
And should we assume that if a man does NOT hit a woman he can’t be guilty of domestic violence?
Of course, things are not really that simple.  That kind of generalization is misleading – […]

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Real Men Don’t Hit Women

Real men do NOT hit women.  That goes without saying.  But if real men don’t hit women, what kinds of men do use physical violence against women.
The following categories are not mutually exclusive.  Men who hit women alternate between the categories, depending on expediency, how much they regress at any given moment.
1)     Playground bullies – […]

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“Too miserable to stay, too frightened to leave”

Camilla said: “I’m frightened to tell him it’s over because…”
Is that something you’ve ever said? Have you ever settled for doing nothing for fear of making the situation worse? If you want to break free from the paralysis of a bad relationship, so you can begin to trust yourself, and value your life, I invite […]

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How To Stay Stuck In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

A friend of mine stayed stuck for far too long in her emotionally abusive relationship with a man who was especially vile – even as abusers go.
As her friend, I did everything I could to support her.  I did my level best to help her see her way out of her relationship.
But could I help […]

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The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse.  Starting with the basics.

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