It’s easy to underestimate the power of hope in a relationship.
A sense of hopelessness keeps women in a bad relationship long after they should have left.
Month: December 2006
Comfort eating – is it really that comforting?
Last week a client was
talking about how impossible she found it to give up sugary foods. In her time she had been a smoker and a
drinker and had managed to give up both of those addictions. Yet she felt she lacked the strength to ever
give up sweet things.
Now, at the logical
level my brain refused to accept this. Alcohol and cigarettes have been shown to be seriously difficult habits
to kick. If she could successfully beat
those two addictions, overcoming a craving for sweet things had to be perfectly
possible.
Still, it wasn’t about
my beliefs but hers and unless I could help her to change her belief about the
power that ‘sugar’ had over her, she would prove herself right. Because we always do; what the Thinker
thinks the Prover proves. This is why
we may not feel happy about our perceived limitations, but we sure are right
about them. (Without realizing it, we make ourselves right.)
Kick The Cat Syndrome
Have you ever suffered from ‘Kick The Cat Syndrome’?
I’d love to say that I never have but, of course, I
have said: “I am only human”. That’s
one of the key refrains of “Kick The Cat Syndrome”. I’m sad to say that at one stage in my life both the refrain and
the syndrome felt quite familiar.
One reader describes this syndrome more tellingly than I
could. Like many of us, after an
abusive childhood she fell into other abusive relationships. She writes:
“I’ve had so much anger bottled up in me, and
recently it was me who lashed out in anger at someone else .. mostly because he
wasn’t being honest with me .. but even so, I don’t want to end up being an
‘abuser’ !”
On Disappointment
with Shoshana Garfield on EFT for domestic violence recovery. Shoshana was quite unwell and had chosen
not to do it.
Her reasoning was that she could have got through the
teleclass, just, and provided listeners with some useful information. However, she would not have been at her
best. Working under those conditions,
she reasoned, would mean failing to honour herself and her listeners.
That choice was the first revelation
Children Learn What They Live
Our children don’t need us to be perfect. Yes, they need us to be good enough, but they are generally prepared to set the bar far lower than we might do for ourselves. They are more likely to judge us by our intentions than our results, provided we are honest and respectful with them.