Emotional Abuse

Are you really listening to yourself as respectfully as you might?

Today, I’d like you to take a moment to think about how respectfully – or not – you listen to yourself. But first I’d like to share with you a little story of my own recent experience that might help clarify what I am talking about.
Last week, I had an eye operation. To say that […]

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How Did Your Narcissistic Partner Choose You?

How did your narcissistic partner identify you as a suitable target from Day 1?  What were their criteria – because people as calculating as Narcissists undoubtedly are surely had some criteria in mind?
How could they know, right from the get-go, that you were worth the trouble of pursuing – inasmuch as they ever did pursue […]

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14 Ways that Abuse Affects the Way that You Show Up in the World

Have you ever thought that abuse has affected the way that you show up in the world? How could it not?
Intimate relationship abuse, inevitably, undermines your sense of self. That applies to all kinds of abuse from narcissistic and emotional abuse to mental, physical and sexual intimate relationship abuse, also.
But what I want to look […]

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How to Cope with Tough Times When You Don’t Feel You Can Cope

How do you cope with tough times when you don’t feel that you can cope? That is a problem that all survivors of an abusive relationship have to face – individually.  Now, with the coronavirus pandemic, it is an issue that we all have to face both individually and collectively.  This week, I want to […]

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Different kinds of bad relationships

Wouldn’t it be nice if we only had to experience being ill-treated by one man, and we learned from it never to make certain mistakes again? For most of us, the reality is slightly different. We learn that a certain kind of man treated us badly, in a certain kind of way, and we resolve never to make that mistake again. Sadly, we don’t think that we could be vulnerable to different, but equally calamitous, mistakes. That is precisely why we repeat them.

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This Is Why You Are Frightened of Emotionally Abusive People

I grew up with a lot of fear in my life.   Perhaps you did, too. At the time, I couldn’t know it but I was actually deeply – and appropriately – frightened of emotionally abusive people. Those people were my family of origin.
My parents both came across as very powerful people. They expected unquestioning obedience; […]

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Should I stop trusting my emotionally abusive husband?

To trust, or not to trust?
Should I stop trusting my emotionally abusive husband? is a question I am very rarely asked.  This is actually quite surprising – when you think that I’ve spent 12+ years working with thousands of women who are waking up to the realization that they’ve been trapped in emotionally abusive relationships. […]

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“My problem is different because…”

My problem is different because…”
“My problem is different because…” is something emotionally abused women tell me, all the time.
One woman explained, recently, that her problem was different – and quite possibly not emotional abuse…because her partner “loved her so much”.  He didn’t say the hurtful things that most emotionally abusive men say.  However, he did make her feel worthless.
Then […]

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“Was I married to your husband?”

Abusive men are much more like one another than they are like anyone else. They are not your fault. We do them, and ourselves, no favours at all when we tolerate their bad behaviour. Like spoilt children, indulging them only allows them to become worse. But, as chronological adults, it is for them to take responsibility for their own behaviour; not us. No matter how much they may tell us that their bad behaviour is our fault, that doesn’t make it true.

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The 7 Hidden Rules Of An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Just suppose there were 7 hidden rules of an emotionally abusive relationship. That would go a long way to explaining why so many  good, intelligent people get hooked into exactly the kind of relationship they really don’t want.
The statistics tell us that 1 in 4 women will undergo domestic violence. Chances are that significantly understates […]

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The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse.  Starting with the basics.

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