Month: October 2010

“I’m Not Sure I Am An Abused Woman…”

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Your husband tells you that you are selfish, self-centred, and you have ruined your his life. What a poor hard done by victim he is! But, also, what a negative, critical, fault-finding, punitive, blaming partner he is. If he’s that unhappy, why hasn’t he left you long ago? Unless, the reason he stays with you is because, actually, he enjoys blaming you for ‘ruining his life’… I’m guessing your husband gets a real high out of telling you how awful you are. Now, in my book, that is selfish, and destructive. It is the hallmark of an abusive man.

Brainwashed By The “Misery Trilogy”!

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It’s not unusual for clients to tell me what they should do, or what they need to do. And we’re not just talking about goal setting here. Abused women often tell me that they have to stop waiting for an abusive partner to change. Or they should take better care of themselves. Or they need to believe they deserve a better life. What they don’t know is that they’ve been brainwashed by the “Misery Trilogy”!

“Why Do You Think It Is So Easy To Change The People-Pleasing Habit?”

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You’ve spent your time being nice to – that is doing back flips to please – a man who treats you badly –and, all the while, treating yourself badly, when you could get to treat yourself well. It’s never about changing away from being nice. It’s all about loving yourself first, and not casting pearls before swine…

“Does he get the blame for everything?”

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How do I determine my part to his actions? He can’t have an argument by himself. So, what I have done in my actions that may have set the course for some of the abuse. There are always two sides to the story. Or does he just get blamed for everything?

Why Relationships Don’t Work

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Not all women are abused at some point in there life – although a lot are. Not a lot of us are taught how to make good relationships. Instead, we’re taught how to put ourselves last. After 7 years of research, I’ve written a report about how women are PROGRAMMED to sabotage their relationship chances.

“What if he were gay?”

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The sexuality of abusive men is perverted. They use – or withhold – sex for control, not love. They ‘relate’ to their partner in a damaging way. That is a feature of the breed. I am very happy to generalize about abusive men; because they are, ultimately, eerily like clones. They all share the same loathing for women. They all abuse their partners in very similar ways.

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