When you are consumed with hurt and rage hatred may feel like a more constructive outlet than love. The downside is, of course, that you remain just as focused, even fixated, on the person as you were before. So how, you might ask, do you arrive at indifference?
It struck me recently that when women try to leave an abusive
relationship, they are attempting to move away from something they know
to be toxic. Yet they have little idea
of what they are moving towards. They
see no positive life enhancing vista ahead of them and so the struggle feels
almost superhuman.
If someone had told me that I was on a healing journey I
would have found it immensely helpful. If someone had told me that I could undertake
Paige Parker, of www.DatingWithoutDrama.com, writes “Love is a CHOICE,
Not Always an Emotion." It’s one of those throw away lines that bears
thinking about. If you believe that love is an emotion, then you invest it with all the
beliefs you have about the irresistible power of emotions. If you choose to believe that love is a choice then, obviously, you are
the person making that choice. You make that choice based on your
criteria. And we all know that criteria can change.
Every so often I come across a book that has a profound effect on the way I think. “Not tonight, Mr Right- why good men come to girls who wait” (by Kate Taylor) is the most recent one. The slightly flippant title, although self-explanatory, does not do the book justice.
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