Mental Abuse Recovery

Different kinds of bad relationships

Wouldn’t it be nice if we only had to experience being ill-treated by one man, and we learned from it never to make certain mistakes again? For most of us, the reality is slightly different. We learn that a certain kind of man treated us badly, in a certain kind of way, and we resolve never to make that mistake again. Sadly, we don’t think that we could be vulnerable to different, but equally calamitous, mistakes. That is precisely why we repeat them.

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“Was I married to your husband?”

Abusive men are much more like one another than they are like anyone else. They are not your fault. We do them, and ourselves, no favours at all when we tolerate their bad behaviour. Like spoilt children, indulging them only allows them to become worse. But, as chronological adults, it is for them to take responsibility for their own behaviour; not us. No matter how much they may tell us that their bad behaviour is our fault, that doesn’t make it true.

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“Why Can’t He..?”

 “Why can’t he behave like a normal person?” Geri asked.
Because I was pushed for time, but wanted to reply, I gave her the short answer.  I’ve no doubt your head already knows the answer as well as I do, but maybe your feelings play tricks on you, just like Geri’s feelings do.
The short answer goes […]

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Wanda’s molehill

“Annie, I don’t know what to do.  Things really are better with my husband,.  He’s trying hard.  But when communication breaks down between us, I start telling myself it’s hopeless, and I have to leave – even though that’s the last thing I want to do do.  Help, please.” 
Dear Wanda,
You and I have been in […]

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One, Actually Two, Big, Fat, Damaging Myths

Farrah is someone who has put a LOT of effort into getting over an abusive relationship. She’s read a lot, thought a lot, and tried a lot of things, including counselling, without feeling a whole lot better. And, like most of the women I work with, she was struggling stoically. She’s come to accept that […]

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The summer of the year my divorce finally came through saw my garden covered with white flowers.  I’d never seen it so festive.
Unfortunately things were not quite what they seemed…
Trying to eject my abusive husband from my life was one of the most tiring things I ever did.  Because of the endless emotional turmoil.
Because I […]

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Real Men Don’t Hit Women

Real men do NOT hit women.  That goes without saying.  But if real men don’t hit women, what kinds of men do use physical violence against women.
The following categories are not mutually exclusive.  Men who hit women alternate between the categories, depending on expediency, how much they regress at any given moment.
1)     Playground bullies – […]

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“Too miserable to stay, too frightened to leave”

Camilla said: “I’m frightened to tell him it’s over because…”
Is that something you’ve ever said? Have you ever settled for doing nothing for fear of making the situation worse? If you want to break free from the paralysis of a bad relationship, so you can begin to trust yourself, and value your life, I invite […]

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Are You A Mind-Reader?

Have you ever wanted to do something really quite small, and not dared to?
That was exactly how Simona felt.  The really interesting thing is what stopped her.  It might be the same thing that’s been stopping you, too.
Simona wasn’t thinking about travelling halfway round the world on a whim, leaving her babies in the care […]

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No fish, please!

How many more fish do you think there are in the sea for you? 
Whether or not you feel ready for another relationship, or even want another relationship,  I’m guessing you’ve been ‘programmed’  to believe you’re washed up, and the potential partner pool has been completely over-fished.
But is it true?  
And, above all, is it […]

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The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse.  Starting with the basics.

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