Abused women are, in the end, just women; some are more talented than others, sure. But look at this way: to run uphill with a 50 lb rucksack on your back, requires you to be a better, stronger runner, than the person who runs, unburdened, up that hill. An abusive relationship weighs far heavier on your shoulders than any 50 lb rucksack ever can.
When an abusive partner, or other near one, tells you that you are ‘too sensitive’, it is, apparently, because they wish you could change. (The subtext is that if you could change that it would, somehow, transform the abusive relationship.) Not that they are offering you any clues as to how you might reduce that sensitivity. In reality, they don’t know how you could reduce that sensitivity; nor do they care. Much as they may criticize you for it, your sensitivity fits very nicely with their agenda.
You will receive the answers you need to the questions that, until now, have kept you stuck in ‘victim mode’ in your abusive relationship including:
· “Why does my abusive partner treat me this way?”
· “Will my abusive partner ever change?”
· “What are the chances of transforming my abusive relationship?”
· “How do I get my self-esteem back?”
· “Is my abusive marriage my fault?”
· “How do I start to rebuild my life?”
· “How do I stop myself going back to him?”
· “Can I be sure it won’t happen again?”
· “How can I create a good relationship next time?”
Abused women act and feel and perform in accordance with what an abusive partner tells them. They do not act in accordance with what they are capable of.
What did you learn in your abusive relationship?
You learned, doubtless, that: the world was not safe, you would never be good enough, or lovable enough, and your judgment would always, always, be wrong.
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