Annie Kaszina “I have to give him another chance’, she said. “I’ve promised.”
He, needless to say, is a man who ‘has his moments – that is to say, an emotionally abusive partner’. He can promise her the good stuff: the Together Forever, the Everlasting Love, the Happiness Ever After quite convincingly. He’s just not terribly good at […]
Emotional abuse is always, ALWAYS tough. It may well be the toughest thing we ever suffer in our entire life.
Not because it is the worst thing. When you stand back and look at it, there are far sadder things than that. But there is an experience of awfulness attached to emotional abuse that you don’t […]
“How can you even be sure it is emotional abuse?” asked the voice on the other end of the line, doubtfully. “It’s so subtle.”
Now, there are many things I would accuse an emotionally abusive husband of, but subtlety is not one of them. Crazy-making, manipulation, terminal judgmentalism, low cunning, and naked spite are just a […]
The tears started, almost before my client spoke. Her situation was A-W-F-U-L. Her emotionally abusive partner was, seemingly, practising a scorched earth policy. My client was well aware of just how awful that was. So was I. But I also know this:
When a situation is really tough sympathy is the last thing anyone needs.
As an […]
This week I experienced a powerful revelation that I want to share with you: emotional abuse really is personal… But NOT in the way you think.
As I write this, I’m exhausted and exhilarated, having spent the weekend on a wonderful, personal development training. I’ll admit I went in a sceptical frame of mind. In an […]
Pay attention to what you tell yourself. If you want to recover from emotional abuse, but you’re telling yourself your emotionally abusive relationship has been so awful, and you’re so damaged you’ll probably never get over it, then you’re not doing yourself any good at all. You MUST learn how to stop that.
Don’t listen to […]
Could the outcome of the Oscar Pistorius trial have been much worse? Could it possibly have come at a more appropriate time than Domestic Violence Awareness Month?
It’s true, 300 hours of Community Service and House Arrest would have been worse, but the message Judge Masipa’s verdict sends to the world is deplorable: South Africa has […]
You’re not crying over spilt milk, are you?
A relationship with an emotionally abusive partner is guaranteed to leave you floundering in a sea of regret. You regret what happened, and what didn’t happen, what you said and did – and what you didn’t say and do in your emotionally abusive relationship. You regret what might […]
“Do emotionally abusive men get better when they are older? Will he get better as he ages now that I’m gone?” was one interesting query I received this week.
I’m afraid I couldn’t help myself. My knee-jerk response was:
“He’s not a cheese, and he’s not a fine wine. He’s not even a fruit cake – that […]
“How could he do that to me?” is a question emotionally abused women always ask themselves. And me. Underlying their question is the belief that there is no good answer.
They’re right, of course.
But then it’s not about goodness, at all. Goodness has NOTHING to do with it.
And it’s not just about your emotionally abusive partner. […]
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