How to Tell Whether Your Partner Really Is  A Narcissist?

A client asked me the time honored question: “How do I tell whether or not my husband really is a Narcissist?” As she spoke of him two different images emerged: on the one hand, the smart, charming, graceful social operator; on the other, the irritable, petulant, irrational domestic tyrant. But, she wondered, di that domestic behavior make him a Narcissist? Or did it point to her woeful inadequacies as his partner?

How can I protect myself from a narcissistic partner?

One of the first things that a Narcissist teaches you, once the lovebombing has reached its expiration date, is how to compromise.  Needless to say, they don’t teach you by example. Narcissists are not big on making compromises. Instead, they teach you exerting as much psychological and emotional pressure as it takes to make you cave in to their wishes.You soon learn a pattern of more or less automatic compromise/capitulation to their demands that puts you forever on the defensive. Breaking free requires a few subtle mindset shifts.

4 Secrets to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

4 secrets to healing from narcissistic abuse

4 Secrets to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Have you come across the oft quoted saying on Instagram: “A Narcissist doesn’t break your heart, they break your spirit, that’s why it takes so long to heal.” It’s one of my personal bugbears.  I understand that it offers a certain gratification, inasmuch as it – rightly – […]

“Was I married to your husband?”

Abusive men are much more like one another than they are like anyone else. They are not your fault. We do them, and ourselves, no favours at all when we tolerate their bad behaviour. Like spoilt children, indulging them only allows them to become worse. But, as chronological adults, it is for them to take responsibility for their own behaviour; not us. No matter how much they may tell us that their bad behaviour is our fault, that doesn’t make it true.

4 Unexpected Life Lessons from a Lonely Cupcake

You could argue that Lonely was just a cupcake, my portion control was off, and why make a big deal about it in the first place. But that would be dismissive thinking and I would urge you to beware of dismissive thinking. It was the dismissive thinking of toxic people that led you to believe that your feelings didn’t matter, and it was okay for them to gaslight and isolate you and then blame you for it.

The Freedom to Make Mistakes

You learn, in a toxic relationship, that there are no innocent mistakes ever. At least when you are the person making the mistakes. As ever, an entirely different set of rules apply to the Narcissist. Even when, one way or another, the Narcissist exits your life, your patterned trauma response does not depart with them. You still retain the same dread of making mistakes.