“Are you really capable of overcoming emotional abuse?”

The questioner, Omar Reyes, of www.icansurvivedomesticviolence.com, answers his own question thus:
“I say that you never fully recover. The scars are always there. But there are various strategies that can be used to help you regain your confidence and your self-esteem…”
I disagree with him, on the grounds of my own experience, the experience of the […]

Your happiness

You may find what I‘m about to say upsetting, but I believe it’s something you really need to hear, if you want to put your life back together.
It’s something that hit me, as much as the delegates  at the 7 Wounds Workshop last week.
And it’s all about happiness.
See, I’m guessing nobody ever taught you how […]

Your hidden hurt

What makes it so hard to get over the pain, and the sheer awfulness, of your abusive relationship?
The answer seems obvious.
You might reply: “I’m hurting because of the things he said and did.  I just can’t get beyond that…”
And that’s true, of course.
The things your abusive partner said and did have had a very damaging […]

Confession of a former invisible woman

What makes a woman stand out?
Good looks don’t hurt.  But, if it were just a matter of looks, then your life would probably have taken a very different path.  Because one thing I know is this: it’s NOT because you are less attractive, less intelligent or less worthwhile than anyone else that you’ve ended up […]

Does “chemistry” matter?

Does “chemistry” matter?
Most women seem to think it does.  In fact, most of the women I’ve worked with say they couldn’t contemplate a relationship with a man, unless they feel more or less instant chemistry with him.
If he’s a nice guy, but there’s no chemistry, then they don’t consider him partner material.
Whereas, if there is […]

“Something’s holding me back…”

Dear Annie,
I am working on getting away from my abusive partner – although I am finding it   more and more difficult. I want to start a new life, but something is holding me back and I don’t know what.   I guess it’s fear.
Maybe one day I’ll feel strong enough!!!
Jolene
Dear Jolene,
“One day” […]

“What will the neighbors think?”

“How did I learn to care so much what other people think of me, Annie?  And how can I stop?”
Nina
Dear Nina,
Let’s see what your question reveals about you.
It shows me that you’re a delightful, caring, warm-hearted, generous-spirited woman.  And you’re a people-pleaser, and a permission seeker; you’re desperate for other people to validate you.
Sadly, […]

Your ability to be radiant

“Dear Annie,
Something is wrong with my life. I have been divorced from an emotionally abusive man for several years. I am living with a boyfriend who can’t find a job.  He doesn’t even seem to care anymore. He doesn’t talk nicely to me. I don’t work either.
My ex-husband and his girlfriend recently bought a house together. […]