“Was I married to your husband?”
Abusive men are much more like one another than they are like anyone else. They are not your fault. We do them, and ourselves, no favours at all when we tolerate their bad behaviour. Like spoilt children, indulging them only allows them to become worse. But, as chronological adults, it is for them to take responsibility for their own behaviour; not us. No matter how much they may tell us that their bad behaviour is our fault, that doesn’t make it true.