Have you experienced the shame of an emotionally abusive relationship?

 Have you experienced the shame of an emotionally abusive relationship?
One of the core emotions of an emotionally abusive relationship is shame.  All emotionally abusive partners are past-masters at manipulating shame, to their own advantage.  From an emotionally abusive husband’s point of view shame is a wonderfully effective tool, which fits perfectly with the dynamic of […]

What stops an emotionally abusive man listening?

One of the – many – damaging things you learn in an emotionally abusive relationship is that an emotionally abusive partner doesn’t listen. He never really listens.
It’s not that an emotionally abusive husband is that kind of stupid. He may well hear you.  If he appears to be listening intently – especially early on […]

Maybe NOT how an emotionally abusive husband sees things

 If you’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship, it’s absolutely normal NOT to feel too great about yourself. Your emotionally abusive husband has trained you to be at least as negative about yourself as he is about you.
Sadly, emotionally abusive partners are highly effective trainers: you end up believing their training is who you are. […]

Has emotional abuse made you feel like this, too?

 “Things got so different with my emotionally abusive husband, that I could barely hang in.  I certainly didn’t feel “worthy” of any recovery program…”  Sylvie said.  Have you ever felt like this, too?  It’s a common – even normal – response to the repeated trauma of an emotionally abusive relationship. 
The normal response to challenges, bad […]

The Secret Rules of Emotional Abuse

 It’s easy to underestimate just how disorienting emotionally abusive relationships can be. That’s because they don’t function according to any normal relationship dynamic. When you’re with an emotionally abusive partner – or other emotionally abusive person, you learn to expect, and fear, bad behaviors.  The way they behave towards you turn nasty at any time.
I […]

Dealing with Emotionally Abusive People

If you’ve ever been in an emotionally abusive relationship, there’s one thing, above all, that you should have learned: you’re not naturally good at handling emotionally abusive people. You’re not good at dealing with an emotionally abusive husband. 
Now, I quite understand if that seems a little hard to swallow: if anyone had said that to […]

If you’ve ever been in an emotionally abusive relationship, there’s one thing, above all, that you should have learned: you’re not naturally good at handling emotionally abusive people. You’re not good at dealing with an emotionally abusive husband. 
Now, I quite understand if that seems a little hard to swallow: if anyone had said that to […]

Who puts an emotionally abused woman first?

If you’re like most emotionally abused women, nobody puts you first.  There’ll be people who love you dearly, but you probably don’t really feel their love.   Please note,  I don’t include your emotionally abusive (ex)-partner in that number. 
If I know anything about you, I’d say you have a deep-rooted pattern of putting yourself last.  And […]

What makes emotionally abusive relationships impossible to change?

Emotionally abused women stick around in their emotionally abusive relationship long after they know – in their heart of hearts –  that it’s dead in the water. They know, because they have all the proof they’ll ever need, in terms of their emotionally abusive husband’s behavior. Yet they’re so heavily into denial that they can […]

An emotionally abusive man won’t do this

When you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, it’s almost impossible to think clearly. After your emotionally abusive partner has launched a few of his surprise attacks on you, it’s as if you don’t have the space to think clearly. Most of your energy goes into worrying how you can make the relationship work, and how […]