What I loved about my emotionally abusive partner

Like emotional abusers the world over my emotionally abusive ex was NOT a nice man. As time has moved on, I’ve put more distance between him and me, and healed progressively. As I’ve healed, there has been a constant effort on my part to make as much sense as I possibly could out of the […]

On family relationships that just don’t work

This week my mother died. After a slow, ugly decline into dementia, with all its horrible trappings.
It was not a good death – at least, as far as I can tell.
It was that much tougher because my relationship with her – with all my family of origin – broke down very badly many years ago.
And […]

Top 10 Ways to Be Happy Even In Tough Times

As someone who’s been in an emotionally abusive relationship,you know just how hard it is to be happy when there is a black hole at the center of your life. The problem is you’re in a Catch 22 situation. You can’t be happy because living with an emotionally abusive partner is so awful. But until […]

An Emotionally Abusive Partner Is NEVER Accountable

Not everyone is accountable. Everyone should be accountable for their own words and deeds, no doubt about it. But emotional abusers have a curious relationship with accountability, a relationship of two sides. The same kind of relationship they have with everything.
On Planet Zog, the emotional abusers’ world, Other People – that is, YOU – are […]

“My Emotionally Abusive Husband Makes Me Feel Awful”

Rosie’s emotionally abusive husband had been driving her mad.  She had not had a good week, she said. She’d tried to keep things pleasant enough with him, but he wasn’t having any of it. When asked what he wanted for dinner, he “didn’t care”. He was monosyllabic when spoken to. When my client asked if […]

“Hopelessly In Love”, And Weeping – The Saatchi Effect

Emotionally abused women everywhere know what it feels like to be Trinny Woodall, weeping behind her sunglasses, as she sits outside a restaurant with the man she is allegedly ‘hopelessly’ in love with: Charles Saatchi.
Yes,this week, the UK’s poster boy for emotional abuse has been at it again: Charles Saatchi, has been sitting at the […]

“You gave me hope”

“You gave me hope”
“You gave me hope,” Rhona said, “and that changed everything.”
Even by the standards of emotionally abusive relationships, Rhona has had it uber-tough.
She’s over 60, her husband is physically and emotionally abusive. He’s always controlled the ‘family’ purse-strings. He has a disease process going on which means he is wheel-chair-bound, and doubly incontinent. […]

Do Emotionally Abused Women ‘Lack Bandwidth?’

Is it possible you lack bandwidth?
Maybe you’ve never thought about yourself in terms of bandwidth before.  Or maybe, as an emotionally abused woman, you’ve got too much going on to worry about anything as rarefied as bandwidth.
Actually, that’s just my point.
When you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, it feels as if you have more demands […]

You Wouldn’t Catch An Emotionally Abusive Partner Doing This!

I was speaking with a lovely lady in Australia about emotionally abusive partners, when she said: “Annie I love it when you write about how a good partner behaves. I wish you’d write more about it.”
One reason I often don’t is this: my lovely partner is as modest as he is delightful. He actually feels […]

Top 10 Workplace After-effects of Emotional Abuse

If you’re an emotionally abused woman , you need to know that the effects  of emotional abuse don’t just melt away like mist in the morning sun once you leave your emotionally abusive partner. That’s not the way it works. You still have to clear the after-effects of emotional abuse  from your life. It’s a […]