How To Defuse Emotionally Abusive People

How to defuse emotionally abusive people is one of the questions I get asked a lot. If you have an emotionally abusive partner, the likelihood is that you have been trained to take responsibility for his behavior.  Of course, this doesn’t just apply to an emotionally abusive partner, it is the pattern of all emotional […]

What are you telling them?

 
The woman I was talking with was strong, vocal, out there. She was, she said, a BIG personality, absolutely NOT a push-over for an emotionally abusive partner.  Rather, she was someone ‘who intimidated the crap out of men’.  That was a problem for her.  It wasn’t so much that men ran for the hills when she […]

“What was he thinking?”

 
They both asked the same question, within minutes of meeting me – two women who had never met me, or each other before:  “What was he thinking?”
The man in question was not their emotionally abusive partner, but my lovely partner and his response to my kitchen fire of a couple of weeks ago.
What they actually […]

My Victory Over Emotional Abuse

 

It’s been another week of celebrating how far I’ve come along my recovery journey from being an archetypal emotional abuse sufferer. I’d like to share it with you because, as ever, it’s not just about me. It’s about you, too.
Anything I can do, I know you can do. In your own way, certainly, but every […]

The Olive Leaf Stopping You Recover From Emotional Abuse

Did you know, it’s often small things that are stopping you recover from emotional abuse?
Today I finally said, “No more.” Not to my emotionally abusive ex-husband.  That stopped many years ago.  But to my emotionally abusive sibling.
You see, like a lot of women, I had been well trained in emotional abuse long before I married […]

How Hard Can It Be To Recover From Emotional Abuse?

How hard can it be to recover from emotional abuse?  If you listen to all the people standing in the wings – friends, family, counsellors, therapists, and even casual acquaintances  – it shouldn’t be that hard. If you just do what they tell you to do, and feel the way they tell you to feel, […]

“Everyone is anxious, aren’t they?”

Everyone feels anxious, right?
“I feel so anxious all the time. But everyone feels anxious, right?” N. asked me … anxiously.
N’s not a client – she’s a friend that I hadn’t spoken with in a while. Life had got in the way. Now  she was telling me about a long-held dream which was just about to […]

How do you recover from emotional abuse when you feel broken?

How do you recover from emotional abuse when you feel broken?
“This is my last effort to reach out to someone for help. My love, whom I thought was my love, started out to be a prince. He made me feel like a princess. I loved the way he made me feel………………in the beginning.   I am […]

You Don’t Need To Be Emotionally Abused

Who taught you…?
Dion felt invisible – but like most emotionally abused women she wasn’t even aware what was wrong
“Who taught you that you didn’t matter much?” I asked Dion.
“What do you mean?” she replied.
That kind of blank incomprehension is common in my emotionally abused clients. They’ve been emotionally neglected  -and/or rejected – by key figures […]

10 Keys to Recovery From Emotional Abuse

Get clear-sighted. “But I love him”, is a great justification – if you want to drive yourself half-crazy with misery – otherwise it really doesn’t help you to recover from emotional abuse.. Ask yourself, instead: “What do I love about my emotionally abusive partner? Right here, right now?”
Listen to your internal dialogue. How many nice, […]