New Year’s Resolutions You Can Make To Overcome Narcissistic Abuse

If  you’re a survivor of narcissistic abuse what New Year’s resolutions should you set?  Is it even worth making resolutions?  When your very own Jerk has done so much jerking of your emotional strings that it can be hard to feel half-way sane or half-way certain about what you even can have in your future.
The answer […]

An Emotionally Abused Woman’s Million Dollar Question

“What if the man is doing therapy work?”
Any emotionally abused woman’s million dollar question has to be: “If a man is actually doing therapy work to heal himself and he fully admits his wounds, apologizes, and is willing to heal, then is that ok?  Or do emotionally abusive men sometimes just say that they will go […]

Why do we never have a good Christmas together?

An abuser can always turn a Peak Experience into a Trough Experience
One of the (many) things that amazed me about ‘my’ wasband was his enormous capacity for displeasure.  That man really could diss  any pleasure that came his way. He had a talent for finding fault in situations that should have been idyllic.
He could turn […]

What makes it so hard to recover from emotional abuse?

 “It’s so hard to recover from emotional abuse.”
“What makes it so hard to recover from emotional abuse?” writes Cate.  “He’s gone, but I still can’t laugh, smile or find joy. What is wrong with me?
I need some advice on how to handle this craziness that happens when they finally leave your life. You’re forced to […]

Terrified To Leave An Emotionally Abusive Partner

Terrified to leave an emotionally abusive partner 
Are you terrified to leave an emotionally abusive partner? Or, if you have already left, did terror keep you from leaving sooner?
I have yet to meet a woman who was not terrified to leave an emotionally abusive partner.
Emotionally abused women only have to think about leaving for the terror […]

The Man Who Told Me I Was Crazy

“You’re crazy!” was one of the stock accusations that my abusive ex-partner used to great effect. Perhaps you have heard it, too, from your (ex) emotional abuser or Narcissist.  It’s a condemnation that is guaranteed to make you feel bad.  In this article, I am going to explore the power and the purpose of the […]

Do You Need Proof of Emotional Abuse?

“I really wish my partner would hit me> Then I’d have proof!” wrote one despairing reader.
Do you suppose that she really means that?   Can she really want her emotionally abusive partner to hit her? Unlikely, right?
So, let’s ask a more useful question,
What is the truth that lies behind that woman’s words?
What the need for proof really […]

How to Ruin Your Ex-Husband’s Day

My post-separation fantasies
When I walked away from my toxic marriage, I was in pieces – just like every other emotionally abused woman that I met since. I felt hurt, wronged, ashamed – and angry.  I struggled to understand how my husband could have behaved so badly to someone (me) who loved him so much. Plus, […]

Emotional Abusers Just Love To Be Angry

Emotional abusers just love to be angry, as the wonderful Cindy Lauper did not say – doubtless because she derived a lot more joy from celebrating good feelings than she would have from than focusing on bad ones.  Admittedly, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.  Why would  emotional abusers just love to be angry?  […]