Resolutions At The End Of A Beastly Year

This is the time of year when, traditionally, there is significant social and media pressure to look back, look forward and make New Year’s Resolutions.  But 2020 has been a year like no other. We have seen a major tear in the fabric of our reality.  Our lives have been adversely affected by Covid 19. […]

How to Stop Shoulding Yourself    

Nobody ever “should”s themselves as much as a survivor of emotional abuse.  That happens for a reason. That reason is not because there is anything remotely unworthy about those of us who have walked through the long, dark tunnel of abuse, Rather, abusers use shoulding to brainwash us into feeling terrible about ourselves so that […]

The best piece of advice…

What was the best piece of advice that you ever received? And why? Also, how soon did you act on it?
The best piece of advice that I ever received was from my dear, Roman friend, Teresa – and it actually wasn’t a piece of advice, at all.
In reality, Teresa has given me a load of […]

Do you ever think about the group you really belong to?

The client I was speaking with was struggling with the injustice of being demonized by her narcissistic, fast becoming ex-partner. He is just cycling through his narcissistic end-game routines. Having performed “I’m leaving you FOREVER” to mediocre response, he transitioned – after due consideration of his finances and creature comforts –  into realising just how […]

How Do You Set Boundaries After Abuse?

This week, I had the pleasure of talking about boundaries with a very special group of emotional abuse survivors. All of them have come a long, LONG way on their healing journey. Yet, just like every other survivor, they still sometimes feel that they are on shaky ground when it comes to boundaries.
Why?
As one of […]