Women who have been through emotional abuse and domestic
violence are, understandably, very tired, very worn emotionally. So it is that they often say things like, “I
want to finish my journey” or, in moments of hope, “I’ve finished my
journey”.
For me, those phrases ring alarm bells. I want to ask:
Let’s face it, we live in a culture that feels
uncomfortable around victims. The
Brits, especially, love an underdog (who, by definition, fights back despite
their weakness). We show compassion
towards the suffering, and persecuted groups. But individual victims make us
feel defensive. Abused women are,
obviously, prime illustrations of this group. It’s easy to blame them for their misfortune.
I remember watching “Sleeping with the enemy” in which
Julia Roberts stars as the battered wife who fakes her own death in order to
escape her gilded hell. And I remember
thinking:
Leaving an abusive man is never easy. Women are most at risk when the relationship breaks down.
It’s easy to see why you could argue that throwing an abusive man the sop of friendship might keep his anger in check. Naturally, he hates being ignored. But it remains the safest course of action.
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