How Women Become Fools Over Men

Ok, so the title is not too charitable. But I’d be the first to admit that I became
a fool
over a man. I spent nearly two decades as a
fool. By this I mean a woman who sticks
around too long in a relationship that is deteriorating progressively, a
relationship which becomes increasingly unhappy most of the time.

We become fixated on our partner’s potential – and of
course he has potential, whatever we mean by that word. If he hadn’t had potential why on
earth would we have bothered in the first place. Few of us have a robust enough sense of self, or are that crazy
that we choose to have a relationship with someone we feel has less to
recommend him than the average cockroach.

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“Love is…”

Because abuse is a syndrome and not as most abused women
start by believing a ‘one off’, there are certain, more or less standard
queries that I receive. Let it be said,
first off, that this does not these queries make any less important or moving. 

This week I received one such; it said, approximately: “my
husband has been emotionally abusive, but we love each other. Can we make this relationship work?”

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