Abusers make you feel so resourceless that you need to be very grateful to them for whatever “resources” they deign to share with you – or more accurately boast about to you. Without your abuser – or so the legend goes – you would fail completely, in every area of our lives, And so we come to despair of ourselves. That despair can block you from rebuilding your life any time soon.
How your empathy can hinder your healing from narcissistic abuse
Have you ever thought that your empathy could actually hinder your healing from narcissistic abuse? If you haven’t, I totally get you. It is so counter-intuitive (how is that for a touchy-feely empath-resonant term?) that your superpower could actually have its problematic side. But that is […]
Have you ever been hoovered back into a relationship with a Narcissist when you knew the relationship needed to end? If so, you probably woke up days, or weeks later, wondering “What was I thinking?” when you need to know how to protect yourself.
Being in a relationship with a Narcissist means that you are constantly in their line of fire. Even when they are “nice” – by narcissistic standards – you can never relax. You know that it is only a matter of time before the other shoe drops. So, you learn to be hypervigilant.
For survivors of narcissistic abuse, how other people are likely to judge us can be a huge issue. When you think about it, this hardly surprising. Narcissists make an art from out of weaponizing their judgement with a view to keeping you under their control.
The problem is that that old pattern of living in terror of how other people will judge you doesn’t just go away when you leave a Narcissist.
How important for you is the desire – even the need – to communicate? I am guessing it must be pretty important otherwise you probably wouldn’t be reading this now. Because I am someone who uses a lot of words – carefully chosen words, I’d like to think – to get my thoughts and ideas across.
A New Year is traditionally the time for new Resolutions and a new start. It’s a time when we (try to) motivate ourselves to do things that we likely need to do and have an impressive number of ways to avoid in the old year.
I am not a great fan of New Year’s Resolutions. In […]
Two Ways that You Could Be Kinder to Yourself this Christmas
Are you actually the kind of person who is kind to yourself at Christmas? Or throughout the year? Or are you the kind of person who prioritises being kind to other people and derives joy, above all, from seeing them happy?
If you are like most […]
You know how, in a narcissistic relationship, you end up always making excuses and allowances for them? On the one hand, you know that their behavior is awful but on the other, they have so much “potential” and the relationship is “special” and…
You know how, in a narcissistic relationship, you end up always making excuses […]
If you were fortunate enough to live in abuse survivor heaven, you would never need to speak to a narcissistic ex-partner, parent or family member again.
Sadly, in the real world, that is not always what happens.
For one reason or another, you can feel it is incumbent on you to continue to have some kind of […]
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.
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