Blog

1. “Thank God he’s gone.”

Harriet*’s face had been etched into a mask of anxiety and
pain by the years spent putting herself last while she tried to make bad
relationships work. She came up to me
on the last day of the course I’d been running on Domestic Violence Recovery to
tell me how far she had come along her journey.

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How Not To Make The Same Mistakes Again

Most people can’t get behind the wheel of a car for the
first time and drive away like a seasoned driver. But one or two can.
Most people can’t sit down at a piano for the first time
and play a Mozart sonata; although you might find the odd one or two who can
play whatever they hear by hear.Most […]

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“All by myself. Don’t want to be…”

Like many other women of her age whose marriage finally founders, she had, she said, lost her voice. She had had to defer to her husband for years on end. Her husband had made her feel small, stupid and inadequate. He was, she said, ‘a strong personality’; while she is ‘sensitive’.
That, of course, is one interpretation.

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The Truth About Verbal Abuse

We live in a society where people habitually say rude, abrasive, sometimes clever, things to each other, which are often quite funny. But rude, abrasive words have the power to chip away at a person until they break them into small pieces.

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“Because”

One of the key stages in abuse recovery is making the
shift from isolation into a sense of community. Once can look past the blinkers of isolation, you see many
wonderful people along your way – including yourself. 

This was sent to me by ezine reader Karen Hammond. Karen’s sharing brought light to the
domestic violence recovery group at my […]

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Anyone who has been reading this blog for the last
few months will already have heard about the Billion Dollar Man. He’s the guy who, having grown up in a climate of domestic violence wants to make £10 Billion to build a refuge in every town and city throughout the world.

 

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“A smile abroad

is often a scowl at home”  (Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

It’s often said that when Life, or The Universe, has
something to teach you, it keeps putting that lesson in front of you until you
finally get it. 

(Equally, you could argue that sometimes you miss
something the first zillion times, because you’re not programmed to notice
it. So you keep […]

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A quick chomp on an old onion skin

On a personal note, 2005 is ending with one of those unwanted gifts that may have to grow on you. 

I recently spent time in a specific environment that I had chosen, in preference to various others, in the hope that it would be safe and nurturing. 

As luck would have it, it […]

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Whose mind-set is it anyway?

In the last couple of weeks a with
another nice man has set me thinking. This man is a high-flying executive who teaches negotiation in the UK
and abroad. For some reason I told him
how I successfully negotiated a problem I was faced with while staying in Rome
recently.

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The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse.  Starting with the basics.

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