As someone who has been abused by loved ones who should have known better – and cared more – apologies are probably deeply important to you, as they are to me. Being ill-treated is already bad enough. But being ill-treated and then, effectively, abused all over again by the absence of a sincere apology is […]
Have you ever noticed how, just when you think you have resolved an emotional block – or, at least, clambered over it in more or less ungainly fashion – Life throws a more “advanced” version of the same issue at you?
That is what happened to me this week.
The common thread of “niceness”
It was one of […]
This week, I had one of those realizations that shock a person to the core. I was reminded that old programming and patterns of behavior really do die hard. They can resurface – unbidden – when you least expect it. For me, this has been one of those weeks.
An incident not too trivial to […]
What drew a narcissistic abuser to you in the first place? According to the people spouting a pseudo-“positive” message of responsibility it was something that you did wrong.
As if you didn’t already have enough to cope with without that!
Not only do you have to rebuild your life from rock bottom but you have people telling […]
What could possibly be more romantic than the partner who comes along at a time when your life is at an all-time low, sweeps you up in his strong arms and transports you to a better, happier place?
Fairy tales, chick lit and romantic movies have led young girls and women to see the rescuer as […]
How much attention do you give to the patterns and themes that show up in your own life over the short and long term?
In my work especially, I am always looking for patterns and themes. Patterns and themes enable you to see beyond the single instance to the wounds and beliefs that underlie it. This […]
How did you get into an abusive relationship in the first place? Here’s what I’m guessing happened. You weren’t feeling too great about yourself and then someone came along who made you feel like you were special. They made you feel that they loved who you were.
So, you started to find a sense of specialness […]
Falling in love only to wake up later and realise that you have been completed duped, misled and devalued by a toxic partner is one of the most devastating experiences a person can go through. It betrays the trust that you had in yourself and human nature.
So, what can you do so as not to […]
What do you do when you need to react to a situation but you feel so overwhelmed by the difficulties that you don’t even know where to start? That was Cindy’s dilemma when I spoke to her earlier this week.
Cindy needed to leave an abusive partner and believe in herself enough to rebuild a good […]
What if almost everything that an abuser ever said to was just one big, fat lie after another? How might that affect the view of yourself that you currently hold?
By the time an emotionally abusive relationship ends you know that it was all just a big con. The partner who swore to love you – […]
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.
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