Abusive Partners

From “damaged goods” to feeling good

What do women almost always tell themselves when they leave an abusive relationship?
One thing they tell themselves is that they are “damaged goods”.
Isn’t it great how we think of ourselves as merchandise rather than human beings? 
I haven’t heard anyone come right out and say the words “shop soiled” yet, but damaged goods is a phrase […]

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Dreams, devils, pheromones, and you

How does Mr Nasty do it?  How does he worm his way into your heart, your bed, and your head – usually in exactly that order?  Even if you’ve known him for a while, and found him thoroughly objectionable, the time comes when he dons his Prince Charming mask.  He’s allergic to it, so he’s […]

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Real Men Don’t Hit Women iii

 Real men don’t hit women.  And they don’t use words to hurt, humiliate, diminish, or reject them, either.
Abusive men do.
Enotionally abusive men can – and do – systematically smash women to pieces without ever raising their hand.
When emotional abuse happens to you, more often than not it seems to be a spontaneous outpouring of fury […]

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Bindweed

The summer of the year my divorce finally came through saw my garden covered with white flowers.  I’d never seen it so festive.
Unfortunately things were not quite what they seemed…
Trying to eject my abusive husband from my life was one of the most tiring things I ever did.  Because of the endless emotional turmoil.
Because I […]

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Are You A Mind-Reader?

Have you ever wanted to do something really quite small, and not dared to?
That was exactly how Simona felt.  The really interesting thing is what stopped her.  It might be the same thing that’s been stopping you, too.
Simona wasn’t thinking about travelling halfway round the world on a whim, leaving her babies in the care […]

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No fish, please!

How many more fish do you think there are in the sea for you? 
Whether or not you feel ready for another relationship, or even want another relationship,  I’m guessing you’ve been ‘programmed’  to believe you’re washed up, and the potential partner pool has been completely over-fished.
But is it true?  
And, above all, is it […]

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How To Stay Stuck In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

A friend of mine stayed stuck for far too long in her emotionally abusive relationship with a man who was especially vile – even as abusers go.
As her friend, I did everything I could to support her.  I did my level best to help her see her way out of her relationship.
But could I help […]

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“Jeez, he was a jerk!”

Lana was a dear friend of mine for 10 years, before the light finally dawned and she – and I – realized my husband was emotionally abusive.
Strange to say, we both discovered what was ‘hidden in plain view’ around the same time.
Lana knew my husband quite well. She was someone he felt the need to […]

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How to break the spell of abuse paralysis

Do you ever look at your situation, and ask yourself; “Why am I still struggling with this?  Why can’t I just move on?”
If that sounds like you, let me tell you about Sarah…
Sarah couldn’t have been more frustrated and disgusted with herself.  She knew exactly what she needed to do: she needed to stop giving […]

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Who Do You Think You Are?

That’s a serious question, and one I’d like you to think about for a moment: how do you know who you are? (Most emotionally abused women really DON’T know.) Maybe it will help you if I rephrase it:
How do you get a sense of who you are?
Where does that sense come from?
And who would […]

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The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse.  Starting with the basics.