Blog

Things are so hard for survivors of narcissistic abuse because

Being in a relationship with a Narcissist is never easy. Nor is leaving one. But breaking with the old beliefs and feelings that are part and parcel of every narcissistic relationship is the hardest thing of all. Especially since, half the time, you might not even be aware of how deeply ingrained those beliefs and patterns have become and how profoundly they continue to impact you. Ridding yourself of them is central to your healing.

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“Why am I still so frightened of upsetting people?”

Were you, too, taught to be frightened of upsetting the people who are quickest to upset and distress you? And how do you go about breaking that old pattern? Discover how Narcissists keep you stuck in a time warp of despair and helplessness and what you can do to break free of it – without fruitlessly blaming and fighting with yourself.

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One Key Difference Between Loving and Lovebombing

One key difference between loving and lovebombing
How do you tell the difference between madly in love and lovebombing? That was a question that I found myself asking recently. What are the signs that you want to pick up on?

It happened when my lovely partner and I were dining, quietly, in a favorite restaurant in Venice, […]

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How do you know what was real in a narcissistic relationship?

Was anything real about your narcissistic relationship? Could it all have been a lie? If you struggle to make sense of why it once felt so real, this will help.

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Have you ever felt undermined by a Narcissist’s dark empathy?

Have you ever felt undermined by a Narcissist’s dark empathy?
Have you ever felt undermined by a Narcissist’s dark empathy? Or was “dark empathy” a term that had not even appeared on your radar until now? The clue is in the name: dark empathy implies the Narcissistic art of using something that is – by its […]

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How do you know what was true and what wasn’t in a narcissistic relationship?

When narcissistic abuse survivors look back, they remember the good times that they shared with their partner and get bogged down in confusion. Did they get it all wrong? Surely, the good times were the way they remember them? What are they to make of the whole relationship? Could the relationship be worth saving? And are they the party at fault? What really happened in the relationship?

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Am I the only one with double standards about betrayal?

The last two weeks have been filled, for me, with deep sadness over the death of our Queen and the end of an era which, overall, I think has been a pretty good one.

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9 Things a Narcissist Uses to Make You Fall Back in Love with Them

How often in your relationship with a narcissistic partner did you reach a point where you just couldn’t take anymore? But then things subsided, the Narcissist backpedalled  and you fell back in love with the person who you first met. Or, at least, wearily re-embraced your long-cherished, somewhat threadbare dream of what your relationship could […]

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How I wrested life wisdom from a failed strawberry cake

How I wrested life wisdom from a failed strawberry cake
What do you do when things go  wrong for you? The weekend before last, faced with a series of what felt like very important – albeit medium-sized – disasters, I was forced to review how I react to disasters. Far from passing the test with flying […]

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The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse.  Starting with the basics.