Is it me?

As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, how do those three little words, “Is it me?” connect with you?
When I saw them in my Inbox today, they made me feel very sad.
The email read,
“I keep thinking about joining the Break Free Membership. But then I think is it me? I try to think before I speak. […]

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An important learning for survivors of narcissistic abuse from the story of The Three Pigs

What do you think is the biggest hold that a Narcissist has on the people who love them?
In the end, it comes down to fear. That fear manifests in a multitude of concerns including:

I won’t be able to cope on my own – financially or emotionally.
They’ll replace me effortlessly thereby proving how worthless I am.
One […]

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5 Ways you could be giving yourself a hard time without even realising it

How kind are you to yourself really?
How often do you tread carefully so as not to hurt your own delicate feelings, the way you would with a friend?
Or when it comes to you, do you tend to adopt the tough love approach – only with the emphasis entirely on the tough piece?
If you are like […]

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How I got to rewrite my story despite having given up on myself

Today, I want to share with you how I got to rewrite my story, despite having given up on myself.

Fairly early on in my healing journey, I met the exceptional Face Reader, Glenna Trout. She took me in in one long look and said,

“You’re someone who let’s your clothes do the talking.”

Well, I guess that […]

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The Loneliness of the Emotionally Abusive Relationship

People, generally, underestimate the loneliness of the emotionally abusive relationship.  Most commonly, the very people who suffer most from the loneliness of an emotionally abusive relationship – that is to say abuse victims – fear the loneliness of life without their abusive partner.
A misleading question
If things are so awful with that partner, how much worse […]

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One Secret to Surviving a Narcissist When the Gloves Are Off

“How do I become unshakable?” my client asked me. Newly separated from her narcissistic partner – who sees no benefits to himself in ending the relationship – she was reeling from his constant mind games.
Like all Narcissists who are not ready for the relationship to end, he is throwing everything that he has at her, […]

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A lesson only just learned from my Narcissistic ex

This week, I am enjoying one of those things that I had forgotten all about in the pandemic – a holiday.
But there was something I really wanted to share with you.
So I am channeling Mark Twain, who apparently said, “I didn’t have time to write a short letter so I wrote a long one […]

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How the Need for Closure Can Get In the Way of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

“I just want closure” my client said. Haven’t we all said that at some point? And what we meant was, approximately, that they would leave us with some kind of 4-5 star review on Relationship Trip Advisor.  “Great nature, good heart, plenty of empathy, a warm loving environment. Can heartily recommend” our ex-partner would say.  […]

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How I Found The Courage To Leave An Emotionally Abusive Husband

Courage to leave an emotionally abusive husband is vital. It’s something that any woman who has ever been in an emotionally abusive relationship feels she lacks and desperately wants to find. Handed to her on a plate, preferably. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.
If you’re struggling because you have yet t find the courage to […]

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The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse.  Starting with the basics.

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