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That Big “V” on the forehead

What drew a narcissistic abuser to you in the first place? According to the people…

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How to Recognise the Rescue Narcissist

What could possibly be more romantic than the partner who comes along at a time…

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How to Deal with a Narcissistic Co-parent

Under normal circumstances, even when the love between you and your partner is over, your…

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What You Are Is Never Wasted

How much attention do you give to the patterns and themes that show up in…

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A Powerful Life Lesson from My Sourdough

The last few months have been nothing if not a STEEP learning curve. SO, I…

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You Know That You Are Not Your Pain, Right?

How did you get into an abusive relationship in the first place? Here’s what I’m…

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How Not to Be Fooled Again by A Toxic Partner

Falling in love only to wake up later and realise that you have been…

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When You Feel Overwhelmed, Do This

What do you do when you need to react to a situation but you feel…

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What if it was all just a big con?

What if almost everything that an abuser ever said to was just one big, fat…

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The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.

GET THE 5 SIMPLE STEPS

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Who are the people who require the benefit of the

Who are the people who require the benefit of the doubt most frequently from you? Narcissists and other toxic types.

Who taught you to give (toxic) people the benefit of the doubt? I’m guessing that it was not someone who taught you too many useful things about Surviving Difficult People 101.

Sure, it is worth giving people the benefit of the doubt - once or twice - provided that they have a proven history of behaving well.

If their track record is sketchy or worse, then WHY would you give them the benefit of the doubt? So that they can?

a) do it again
b) lose even more respect for you
c) rub your nose in your lack of boundaries
d) all of the above.

People have to earn the benefit of the doubt.

If you expect to have to earn it, why shouldn’t you have the same expectation of others?

Your job is not to protect Narcissists. Your job is to protect yourself, first and foremost, from Narcissists.

How does it feel to stop giving a Narcissist the benefit of a (nonexistent) doubt?

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#heartless
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#toxicrelationships
#nextchapter
#walkaway
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#toxicpeople
#domesticviolence
#selfish
#narcissisticabuse
#anniekaszina
#lettinggo
#chooseyou
#narcissisticabusesurvivor
#dysfunctional
#youareworthy
#domesticabuse
#traumarecovery
#liar
#putyourselffirst
#healthyboundaries
#lying
#youmatter
#selflovefirst.
#disrespectful
#denial
#boundaries
#selfloveisthebestlove

No contact is absolutely NOT a short-term fix. Whe

No contact is absolutely NOT a short-term fix. When you have a long-term problem - like narcissistic abuse - you need a long-term solution.

No contact is a long-term solution to an individual problem that you have to tackle essentially on your own.
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No contact is both strategy and solution.

Since you can't beat a Narcissist at their own game, and you will suffer a high degree of damage if you try, no contact is the only effective option that you have.
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But you can't do it for a few days, weeks, months or years in the hope that it will change a toxic person. It won't. You can't change them and they have no wish to change. Rather, it is the way forward.
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So many clients come to me in despair because they had gone no contact, faltered, allowed the Narcissist back into their lives and then ended up even right back in the abusive nightmare. .
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No Contact is for the long haul, the long, LONG haul.
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It is not a pretty or sophisticated solution. However, it works.
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If you want to be free of the Narcissist, you have to prove to them, yourself (and the Universe) that you are prepared to put some effort into being a narc-free zone.
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#heartless
#abuse
#toxic
#toxicrelationships
#nextchapter
#walkaway
#narcissism
#toxicpeople
#domesticviolence
#nocontact
#narcissisticabuse
#anniekaszina
#lettinggo
#chooseyou
#narcissisticabusesurvivor
#dysfunctional
#selfrespect
#domesticabuse
#traumarecovery
#liar
#putyourselffirst
#healthyboundaries
#lying
#youmatter
#selflovefirst.
#respectyourself
#denial
#boundaries
#selfloveisthebestlove

Narcissists know a lot about you. They know that y

Narcissists know a lot about you. They know that you will give up on yourself far faster than you will give up on them.

They know that they can be vile towards you and you will STILL keep trying to make the relationship work for the longest time.

They know that you will tolerate extraordinary levels of abuse, rejection and neglect.

That is just some of what makes a toxic relationship so exhausting.

Toxic relationships really are some of the hardest, most thankless work you will ever do. Please tag someone who hasn’t worked out why they feel so drained.

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#narcissist
#heartless
#abuse
#toxic
#toxicrelationships
#nextchapter
#walkaway
#narcissism
#toxicpeople
#domesticviolence
#selfish
#narcissisticabuse
#anniekaszina
#lettinggo
#chooseyou
#narcissisticabusesurvivor
#dysfunctional
#youareworthy
#domesticabuse
#traumarecovery
#liar
#putyourselffirst
#healthyboundaries
#lying
#youmatter
#selflovefirst.
#disrespectful
#denial
#boundaries
#selfloveisthebestlove

Learning to respect yourself can be hard if your w

Learning to respect yourself can be hard if your were brought in a disrespectful environment. But even if you were trained to accept disrespect, you still knew that it was damaging and wrong.

When you finally stand up for yourself and say, “ No more!” that really is the beginning of a whole new relationship with yourself.

It is the start of you treating yourself the way you treat other people - that is to say, with respect.

Not tolerating disrespect is a mark of self-respect.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Please share to help someone who is struggling with whether or not they have a right to say “No” to a loved one who shows them no respect. Repost from @ptsd.awareness

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#narcissist
#heartless
#abuse
#toxic
#toxicrelationships
#nextchapter
#walkaway
#narcissism
#toxicpeople
#domesticviolence
#selfrespect
#narcissisticabuse
#anniekaszina
#lettinggo
#chooseyou
#narcissisticabusesurvivor
#dysfunctional
#respectyourself
#domesticabuse
#traumarecovery
#liar
#putyourselffirst
#healthyboundaries
#lying
#youmatter
#selflovefirst.
#disrespectful
#denial
#boundaries
#selfloveisthebestlove

A Narcissist is never going to change because ther

A Narcissist is never going to change because there is nothing in it for them.

As they see it, being as they are is the best way to get what they want.

Given that they are monumentally self-centred, why would they do something that deprives them of what they care about for you - who they don’t care about anyway?

Hint: “Because they should care more about me” is absolutely the wrong answer. Please tag someone who is still refusing to accept the truth about “their”

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#selfesteem
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#putyourselffirst
#healthyboundaries
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#youmatter
#selflovefirst.
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#valueyourself
#boundaries
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