How will you do happiness in 2014?

31 Dec 2013

How will you do happiness in 2014?

Now, I understand that you may have a lot of carking cares weighing you down, a lot of  fears  about the future, regrets about the past, and pressures in the present.  Which may mean you don’t feel you even have the time, or the energy, to step back and focus on your happiness.

You could be so used to unhappiness  that you have forgotten how to do happiness.  You may even feel that you were never much good at it, in the first place.

All of these thoughts are usual.  None of them are helpful. 

Have you thought about making Resolutions for 2014?

If you have, why not throw them out of the window right now? 

Resolutions are beastly things.  They might as well have been created by our superego: to trip us up, and make us feel bad.  Very few people ever stick to them.

Resolutions are not going to make you any happier. 

perfume-fairy-godmother-anInstead, a few thoughts for you, as we head into 2014.

  • Whatever has happened to you in the past, 2014 can still be your best year, so far.  The past does not have to shut down your future… unless you let it.
  • Happiness is not the by-product of either huge and painful life upheavals, or else, endless poking around in your psyche – either with or without a therapeutic help-meet.
  • Happiness is always available to you.  You just have to ditch your habitual perspective long enough to see things with new eyes.

Let me tell you about Dora.

Dora’s situation was pretty awful in lots of ways.  She isn’t in the first flush of youth.  Money is tight.  She and her husband both have significant health problems.  She’s been out of the work force for a long time. Not small stuff, right?

Dora came to me for one session, and what did we do?  We – okay, I, Annie  –  prised her eyes off the dismal scenario she had been eyeballing for years, and years. 

She’d forgotten she could  even look away.

We looked a bit at what she truly wants, and who she is – as opposed to what she is punishing herself for doing, and not being. 

The net result is this: Dora felt she had permission to drop the carking cares, dump the fears, reject the regrets, and look beyond her present pressures.

And what does she see?

She sees a life that is beckoning to her, calling her to it.  She’s on her way.

I don’t know what your circumstances are.  But every week I write my e-zine, because I know  what is possible, irrespective of your circumstances.  Not because I have a crystal ball, or extra-sensory perception.   I don’t, of course.  (Every year I put it on my Christmas list, but Santa hasn’t brought it.  Yet.)  But I do know something about the psyche of emotionally abused women.

Here’s what I know:

You can ALWAYS heal.

Even if you say you can’t, all that means is that you’re starting from a step, or two, further back than if you believe you can.

That’s all. 

You CAN heal. 

By healing, I don’t mean you can drag yourself  along feeling slightly less bad than you did.  I mean feel happy. Whole.  Cheerful about the future.  Comfortable in your skin.  Enjoying peace of mind.  Living without the negative soundtrack in your head.  You can skip or dance through life instead of dragging yourself through it.

Happiness is the key. 

That’s where you want to place your focus: on nurturing your own happiness.

You haven’t done that in the past.  You’ve been too taken aback by unhappiness. 

What better time than January 2014 to start nurturing your own happiness?

You CAN do it.  Anyone can.

And your world will change.


Wishing you far more joy in 2014 than you think you deserve, or believe you are capable of feeling.

Warm wishes for your wonderful 2014,



Annie Kaszina, international Emotional Abuse Recovery specialist and award-winning author of 3 books designed to help women recognise and heal from toxic relationships so that they can build healthy, lasting relationships with the perfect partner for them, blogs about all aspects of abuse, understanding Narcissists and how to avoid them and building strong self-worth. To receive Annie’s blog direct to your Inbox just leave your details here.

Leave a comment

The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse.  Starting with the basics.

Connect with me on Instagram

Want daily reassurance and inspiration? Sign up to my Instagram account. @dr_anniephd