What really happens when you stop undervaluing yourself?
What do you think would really happen if you stopped undervaluing yourself, first name? Do you have a vague sense that if you could stop undervaluing yourself, you would feel more confident and things would surely go better for you. But (and we’re talking about a BIG, stumbling-block […]
What to do when you need answers not overwhelm
About a million years ago Joni Mitchell first sang: “Maybe it’s just the time of year. Or maybe it’s the time of man.” Right now, it certainly feels like one of those times of man – and also woman, clearly.
Needing answers not overwhelm is a tough place […]
When You Can’t Make A Narcissist Understand Your Feelings
If you are in a Narcissistic relationship that just isn’t working there is something that you likely need to factor into your thinking: you are desperate to be heard. In fact, you are willing to do an awful lot of hitting your head against a brick […]
4 Secrets to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Have you come across the oft quoted saying on Instagram: “A Narcissist doesn’t break your heart, they break your spirit, that’s why it takes so long to heal.” It’s one of my personal bugbears. I understand that it offers a certain gratification, inasmuch as it – rightly – […]
You could argue that Lonely was just a cupcake, my portion control was off, and why make a big deal about it in the first place. But that would be dismissive thinking and I would urge you to beware of dismissive thinking. It was the dismissive thinking of toxic people that led you to believe that your feelings didn’t matter, and it was okay for them to gaslight and isolate you and then blame you for it.
Are you still playing catchup and how to stop
This week, I really want to talk to you about catchup. It’s far from being my favorite game but it is very much on my mind this week. But I’ve spent the last 24 hours playing catch up with myself.
Why?
Because my partner is struggling with his health […]
You learn, in a toxic relationship, that there are no innocent mistakes ever. At least when you are the person making the mistakes. As ever, an entirely different set of rules apply to the Narcissist. Even when, one way or another, the Narcissist exits your life, your patterned trauma response does not depart with them. You still retain the same dread of making mistakes.
Almost all survivors of narcissistic abuse need to perform a total rethink about the power of words. We have been taught – mostly by people some way along the abusive spectrum – that their words are not a big deal. They argue that we we should be able to brush them off. (Even though this is yet another of those cases where there is one law for you and quite another for them.) Instead, you need to learn what their words say about them.
Have you ever felt invisible? In the context of your home with an abusive partner? And especially in your family of origin? if so, this post is for you.
This week, a lovely client was asking me why it was that her family of origin just didn’t seem to see her? Even when she was physically […]
“Do you think that emotionally I am “behind” other adults?” my client asked me.
That’s not a question that I had ever heard formulated in quite that way before. Still, the underlying belief sounded all too familiar.
All children of narcissistic parents come into this world with an emotional yardstick in their little, pudgy hands (metaphorically speaking, […]
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.
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