The way it works is simple enough to see from the outside: one partner criticizes, humiliates, blames, pokes fun at, and finds fault with the other. The abuser disregards, and disrespects, their partner’s feelings. The abused partner feels that something is wrong, but also shoulders the blame, and often feels that whatever happens must be […]
How do you know that you need emotional abuse help?
It’s simple really.
Your confidence and self-esteem are at an all time low. Your partner is constantly criticizing all your faults, and you feel so bad that you think he is probably right. But, at the same […]
The effects of emotional abuse may not be immediately obvious to the naked eye.
The effects of physical domestic violence are easily recognizable. But the effects of emotional abuse are easily missable; by the victim, but also by friends, family and even health professionals around the victim.
Why is this the case?
Awareness of emotional abuse, and the […]
Falling-In-Love, as far as I can see, is about leaping without looking. Falling-In-Love lays you open to the whole unsavory pack of jerks, abusers, and narcissists. I asked my client whether she would take a job without first finding out about the pay and terms of employment. She sounded surprised. She answered, briskly: “Of course not.” Then she saw the connection. You don’t have to fall in love on Day 1, Day 2, or Day 20. Falling-In-Love is optional, not obligatory – although it is a neat way of silencing the little voice in your head that says: “Er… I don’t think so. This one is NOT for me!”
Most women who are in an emotional abuse relationship have an inkling, or a sense, that things are not as they should be, that their partner’s treatment is not appropriate, or acceptable. However, they also deeply confused. They are confused both by what is happening, and by what their partner tells them. The result is […]
Your husband tells you that you are selfish, self-centred, and you have ruined your his life. What a poor hard done by victim he is! But, also, what a negative, critical, fault-finding, punitive, blaming partner he is. If he’s that unhappy, why hasn’t he left you long ago? Unless, the reason he stays with you is because, actually, he enjoys blaming you for ‘ruining his life’… I’m guessing your husband gets a real high out of telling you how awful you are. Now, in my book, that is selfish, and destructive. It is the hallmark of an abusive man.
You’ve spent your time being nice to – that is doing back flips to please – a man who treats you badly –and, all the while, treating yourself badly, when you could get to treat yourself well. It’s never about changing away from being nice. It’s all about loving yourself first, and not casting pearls before swine…
It’s not unusual for clients to tell me what they should do, or what they need to do. And we’re not just talking about goal setting here. Abused women often tell me that they have to stop waiting for an abusive partner to change. Or they should take better care of themselves. Or they need to believe they deserve a better life. What they don’t know is that they’ve been brainwashed by the “Misery Trilogy”!
How do I determine my part to his actions? He can’t have an argument by himself. So, what I have done in my actions that may have set the course for some of the abuse. There are always two sides to the story. Or does he just get blamed for everything?
Not all women are abused at some point in there life – although a lot are. Not a lot of us are taught how to make good relationships. Instead, we’re taught how to put ourselves last. After 7 years of research, I’ve written a report about how women are PROGRAMMED to sabotage their relationship chances.
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.
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