Blog
“One more year and then you’ll be happy…”?
The news of Gerry Rafferty’s death felt like a personal loss. Rafferty was the poet whose song “Baker Street” epitomizes hopium addiction*, and the broken dreams of an abusive relationship.
“Baker Street” was the soundtrack of my hopeless marriage. Gerry Rafferty, in case you don’t know the name, was a singer-songwriter who co-founded Stealer’s Wheel, and […]
“The Most Wonderful Time…” Bah! Humbug!
Fairytale-itis is something most little girls contract in childhood. It lies dormant until they kiss their first frog, or Beast, or handsome prince. Then it triggers all kinds of madness including:
Not seeing the person in front of your eyes
Putting him at the very centre of your world – and yourself on the periphery
Disregarding your own needs and wants
Doing more back-flips than Andre the seal for a few lousy scraps of affection
How you leave an abusive relationship
Everything Susie said was self-critical. She should have jumped by now. She should have left her abusive husband. Susie wasn’t prepared to cut herself any slack at all. Intellectually, she knew everything I – or anyone else – could tell her. But, still, there she was, paralyzed… (Because it’s not what you know with your head that matters; what matters is getting your heart to the point of letting go of a relationship that does NOT work.)
Susie’s knowledge hadn’t percolated through to heart level, yet.
Abusive Men – Why They Don’t Want You To Be Happy
I was talking with a client who is taking that long, long walk away from her abusive husband and into freedom.
And, yes, it feels like a frustrating journey that never reaches its destination because every step feels like a ‘baby step’ – and baby steps seem so small, and insignificant, when there is such a […]
Abusive Men – Why They Don’t Want You To Be Happy
The abusive man is looking for someone who will serve him 24-7 in various departments of his life: the bedroom, the kitchen, the finance department, parenting – both of his children, and himself – and so on, and so forth. But more than that, the abusive man is someone who will carry a heavy load of loathing – his loathing both for himself and for other people. He is looking for someone he can dump that load on, forever after.
How do you identify the Emotional Abuse Signs?
When you are in it, it’s almost impossible to do. Because being in an emotionally abusive relationship is like being in a maze: all you can do is go up different paths, which almost always turn out to be dead ends. You lack on overview; not least because your abusive partner is intent on closing […]
What happens to emotionally abused women in their relationship with an abusive partner?
Emotionally abused women are women who become increasingly hurt, troubled, and confused by the way that their partner behaves towards them. They don’t understand why they lavish their partner with everything they have to offer – love, consideration, even money – and yet that partner treats them badly.
Emotionally abused women are loving, forgiving, and generous […]
People often wonder if there is such a thing as Emotional Abuse Recovery
If you have been through years, or even decades, of Emotional Abuse, it is perfectly understandable to worry that you will never get over it. After all, being on the receiving end of emotional abuse is all about being with someone who is hell bent on crushing your spirit.
And let’s face it; emotional abusers are […]
Emotional abuse in marriage is not easy for the victim to identify
The way it works is simple enough to see from the outside: one partner criticizes, humiliates, blames, pokes fun at, and finds fault with the other. The abuser disregards, and disrespects, their partner’s feelings. The abused partner feels that something is wrong, but also shoulders the blame, and often feels that whatever happens must be […]
The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.
