People often wonder if there is such a thing as Emotional Abuse Recovery

18 Nov 2010

If you have been through years, or even decades, of Emotional Abuse, it is perfectly understandable to worry that you will never get over it.  After all, being on the receiving end of emotional abuse is all about being with someone who is hell bent on crushing your spirit.

And let’s face it; emotional abusers are very, very good at what they do.

They crush your spirit by destroying your trust, by controlling you, withdrawing love, isolating you, making you feel worthless, and keeping you in a constant state of fear.

In short, they visit major emotional damage on you.  This means that Emotional Abuse Recovery is likely to be very difficult; if you ‘go it alone’.

Why is that?

Well, think about it for a moment: you have been with someone who has deliberately set out to brainwash, isolate and undermine you.

Of course, that is not what they said.  At the start, they used the “L” word – maybe they still do tell you that they “Love” you from time to time.  But their behaviour tells a very different story.

Their behaviour tells the true story.

Here’s the bottom line: emotional abusers treat you as badly as they do for a reason: making you feel bad, makes them feel good.

When they make you feel powerless, they get to feel powerful.

When they make you feel terrified, they feel strong.

When they make you feel worthless, they feel valuable.

Life, as they see it, is like a set of scales; by weighing you down with all the bad stuff – that is, the negative emotions – they get to feel relatively good about themselves.

So, there is no point in asking yourself: “How could he?” He could.  He did.  You know that for a fact.  Your unhappiness, self-doubt and emotional isolation are the proof.

Emotional Abuse Recovery begins when you stop obsessing about him and start focusing on you.

You have already tried persuading him to see your point of view and take your feelings into account.  That never works.  You’ve tried wishing and hoping and cajoling, to turn him back into the man he once was – allegedly. That didn’t work either.  You’ve tried to be the best partner you possibly could be, and picking your way so very carefully that you did not step on a single eggshell with him.  That didn’t work, either.

You cannot hope to heal yourself, when all your time and energy are focused on trying to make him happy; or, at the very least, trying to make things right for him.

Emotional Abuse Recovery is a very real possibility.  It comes about when you stop focusing on him, and start focusing on the one person you do have the power to transform; that is, YOU.

Can you do it, alone?

It’s possible, but it will be a slow, hard process.

Work with someone who understands the strategies that all abusers use and you will have the support, guidance and vision you need to keep you on track, at every step along the way.  There is a simple 10 Steps Program to Emotional Abuse Recovery that will fast-track your healing, and guarantee that you never, ever, fall for another abusive partner.

Only get on the right path and the journey to Emotional Abuse Recovery will be much, much easier, faster, and more rewarding than you could possibly imagine.


Annie Kaszina, international Emotional Abuse Recovery specialist and award-winning author of 3 books designed to help women recognise and heal from toxic relationships so that they can build healthy, lasting relationships with the perfect partner for them, blogs about all aspects of abuse, understanding Narcissists and how to avoid them and building strong self-worth. To receive Annie’s blog direct to your Inbox just leave your details here.

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