Do You Need Emotional Abuse Help, Too?

21 Jun 2016

How do you know if you need emotional abuse help? It should be blindingly obvious.  However, when you live in an abusive relationship, everything becomes shrouded in an impenetrable emotional fog.  At best, you have a dim perception of what should be true – and what is, doubtless, true for everyone else.

So, just in case you too are still struggling in that emotional fog, here are some key pointers.

You need emotional abuse help (whether or not you are still in the relationship) if 

  1. You’ve lost your voice. The person you once were seems to have disappeared.
  2. You are confused about what really happened in the relationship, and whether you are actually “the bad one” – or “the mad one”.
  3. Your confidence and self-esteem are at an all-time low.  Your partner has criticized you so much that you think he is probably right about you.
  4. You still think it was your responsibility to “save” the relationship – and him.
  5. You honestly believe that you still love him (because he is a “wonderful person” really) – despite feeling a very deep dislike for him. You wonder why the person who was meant to love you could treat you so badly, so much of the time.
  6. You struggle with forgiveness.  Much as you might want to forgive him, you don’t feel at peace with either him or yourself.  (And he sure as hell never forgives – anything.)
  7. You’re a ‘hopium addict’.  You still fantasise about your relationship suddenly going into reverse gear, so Mr Nasty suddenly ‘morphs’ back into Prince Charming.
  8. You’re frightened you can’t have a life worth living – without the very man who makes your life NOT worth living.
  9. You suffer with a very high level of anxiety, generally, and always expect something bad to happen – especially if anything half-way good has just happened.
  10. You feel profoundly unhappy, unlovable and abandoned most of the time.

If that sounds like your life, you’re struggling with a toxic relationship. It is NOT normal to feel like that checklist.

Contrary to what you may be telling yourself the door of happiness with your abusive (ex)partner been slammed and locked on you forever.  That should be cause for rejoicing.I’ve worked with many hundreds of women who have gone on to have enjoy happy, rewarding, meaningful lives.  I know that you can, too.

Where do you find emotional abuse help?

Start is by reading all the information you can get hold of on and offline: read all the books, and articles, you can find.  You will learn a lot, and what you read will help you to understand what has happened to you – and, maybe, why it happened, also.

Check out your local resources: women’s groups, your refuge, counsellors, psychologists, and psychotherapists.  Or else,  carry on using the Internet as a quick, effective way to zero in on the expert whose message really resonates with you.

Working with an appropriate expert is, obviously, the fastest, most effective way to move forward and rebuild your life.  You will need someone who:

  • Understands exactly what you have been through
  • Cares about your well-being
  • Is non-judgmental
  • Supports you unconditionally,
  • Can hold a vision of who you truly are, until you are able to do that for yourself,
  • Believes your recovery can be swift, easy, and transformational, and
  • Can teach you the tools for creating healthy relationships

How do you choose the right emotional abuse help

Not all counselors, psychologists, and psychotherapists are created equal when it comes to emotional abuse help.  So, how do you choose the right person to provide you with the most transformational emotional abuse help, so you can heal your life?

Look for someone who:

  1. Has first-hand experience of emotional abuse,
  2. Has a proven track record of helping people who have suffered emotional abuse
  3. Is fully aware of the special nature, and features, of abusive relationships
  4. Is deeply respectful of your situation

‘Experts’ who misunderstand the situation and support the abusive partner, at the expense of the abused partner, are all too common.  They cause untold damage, because they actually increase the abused partner’s feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, and confusion.

How do you know that your emotional abuse help is working?

If your emotional abuse help is working, you will start to feel quite different very quickly. You can expect to have a strong sense that you are finally being heard and the work you are doing is making a difference, right from the first session.

You’ll gain a whole new perspective on yourself, as well as your past, present and future.  (You will feel also much more positive than you could possibly imagine.  Your new perspective will feel – and be- absolutely realistic. You’ll discover how unrealistic your ‘learned negativity’ was.)

You will also learn exactly what you need to know to guarantee that you never make the same mistakes again.

Why you need emotional abuse help

Emotional abuse eats away at your self-worth and identity.  It makes you feel helpless and   hopeless.  Because feel so bad, you feel as if there is no help out there for you, anywhere.

That is not true.

You don’t need to know how you will make your recovery a reality.  Your job is simply to trust that you will, and work with the expert who can make that happen – because that expert is 100% committed to helping you. You deserve no less than that.

There is mediocre emotional help and there is fantastic emotional abuse help available to you, right now. Do your research, find the right person who can offer you the support that you need, and your life will change dramatically for the better -usually within weeks. In fact, just the experience of being truly heard can go a long way to dissolve the abuse sufferer’s trance of misery, as it did for A. who, after her first session wit me, said: “For 3 days I was floating. Even after that, when the voice of self-criticism kicked in, I didn’t answer the way I should have answered before.  Instead, a new voice in my head said: ‘You don’t need to be perfect.'”

You don’t need to be perfect, and you don’t to struggle anymore.

Great emotional abuse help is the bridge that crosses the chasm from anxiety, heartbreak and misery, to love, laughter and joy.

Are you ready to walk across that bridge? If you are, I’d love to share everything I’ve ever discovered that works with you. If the time is right for you, get in touch.

Warm wishes for your healing and happiness,

Annie Kaszina


Annie Kaszina, international Emotional Abuse Recovery specialist and award-winning author of 3 books designed to help women recognise and heal from toxic relationships so that they can build healthy, lasting relationships with the perfect partner for them, blogs about all aspects of abuse, understanding Narcissists and how to avoid them and building strong self-worth. To receive Annie’s blog direct to your Inbox just leave your details here.

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