10 Lies You Swallowed About Emotional Abuse

01 Nov 2013


  1. Because he violated your trust, you’ve come to expect that everyone will violate your trust.
  2. Because he told you that you’re worthless often enough, you’ve come to believe that you are worthless.

  3. Because he presented you with his crazy, skewed view of the World so often, you’ve come to believe that it must be true.

  4. Because he’s blamed you for E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G, you’ve come to believe that anything and everything that happens MUST be your fault.

  5. Because he told you you’re a lousy mother so often, you’ve come to believe that your children need him as father.

  6. Because he’s made you feel so bad, you’ve come to believe that he is pretty good.

  7. Because he’s described your future to you so often, in dark and gloomy terms, you’ve come to believe that he has special powers to predict the future.

  8. Because he’s so full of rage and negativity, you’ve come to believe that the World is a vicious, destructive place.

  9. Because he gains from creating a climate of uncertainty around you, you’ve come to believe that the World is an unsafe place – for you, at any rate.

  10. Because he fondly imagines that he is Everyman – as opposed to Every Abusive Clone – you’ve come to believe that he’s as good as it gets. 

Why did you swallow those lies? 

Most likely because they offered a world-view you were already familiar with. 

Chances are, you grew up in an environment where some degree of emotional abuse was more or less ‘normal’. That’s a topic for another blog post.  Your past programming may well offer a valid explanation for your belief ‘system’.  But you cannot afford to leave 
that belief system in place.  It really is time, now,  for you to stop thinking like an emotionally abused woman.

Please, don’t even think of beating yourself up for not knowing what you couldn’t know.  Instead, open to the – much more useful belief – that you have, within you, all the resources you need to transform your life.


Annie Kaszina, international Emotional Abuse Recovery specialist and award-winning author of 3 books designed to help women recognise and heal from toxic relationships so that they can build healthy, lasting relationships with the perfect partner for them, blogs about all aspects of abuse, understanding Narcissists and how to avoid them and building strong self-worth. To receive Annie’s blog direct to your Inbox just leave your details here.

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