“I can’t” comes just before…

26 Apr 2012

Have you noticed how often some people say: “I can’t”?

Maybe you’ve even been guilty of saying it yourself… once, or twice.  (I know I have.)

The trouble with “I can’t” is this: it sounds SO convincing, doesn’t it?  Something happens, the fears kick into play, and they trigger that well-worn “I can’t” mechanism.

“I CAN’T” flashes across the screen of your mind… Only it doesn’t just flash, does it?  It freezes up there like there’s been some kind of technological failure.

Which,Of course, there has.  That’s exactly what’s happened.

Your mind-set needs rebooting.                                                                                             

 And the worst of it is you find yourself staring at that big “I CAN’T” writ large on the screen of your mind.  So, you repeat it to yourself, and other people.

“I can’t” are just about the best words I know for lowering your energy levels, and taking your motivation right down.

Weasel words!

Words that hide a far more useful message.

Did you know that whenever you tell yourself “I can’t” you’re actually experiencing a severe case of Brain Addle?

“How does that one work, Annie?” 

Think about it for a moment:  “I can’t works faster than Imodium (honestly, it does) to put your hopes, dreams, aspirations etc. firmly back in their box with the lid slammed down.

But, at the same time, even thinking about the things you say you can’t do means you actually can envisage the possibility…

That’s why we CAN always do the thing we say we can’t.

That’s why you can envisage the thing you say you can NOT see yourself doing.

That’s why “I can’t” comes just before “I can”.

Sure, if you’re the stubborn type, it may take a fair few “I can’t”s before you segue seamlessly into “I can”.  You may be on a mission to prove to yourself and the world what you can’t do.  In which case, you might like to think of getting help to move you swiftly past that particular road-block.

But still,  “I can” is always there for you.

Hold that thought!:-)


Annie Kaszina, international Emotional Abuse Recovery specialist and award-winning author of 3 books designed to help women recognise and heal from toxic relationships so that they can build healthy, lasting relationships with the perfect partner for them, blogs about all aspects of abuse, understanding Narcissists and how to avoid them and building strong self-worth. To receive Annie’s blog direct to your Inbox just leave your details here.

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