“It’s the time of year when…”

23 Dec 2007

It’s that time of year again, the time of year when, so the
hype goes, everything in your life should be rosy. If your life is not rosy, it can be especially hard to have to
admit the failure of a relationship in which you invested so much. 

Not only do you have to admit it yourself, it is as if, at
this time of year, the whole world stands in judgement and finds you wanting.

Of course, that is just a perception. In reality the unbroken couples and families
lack time to think about you as they labour through the business –maybe even
the minefield – of Christmas. 

For me now Christmas is a time when I look back and give
thanks for all the blessings I have enjoyed throughout the year. It’s also a time when I look forward to what
the year ahead will bring and start to plan what I want more of in my

It wasn’t always that way. There were the Christmases spent in denial about my husband’s behaviour.
(He always managed to ‘up his game for Christmas’; he hated the idea of
peace and goodwill to men, women and especially his wife and family.) Then there was a Christmas, or two, spent
feeling inadequate and ashamed because I was a ‘Christmas failure’. 

Now there is peace, acceptance and a sense of freedom. My daughter and I have evolved our own
Christmas traditions and pleasures. They work for us. 

Was it always easy? 

No. At the start,
when I didn’t know where to turn, it felt incredibly hard.

It became much easier as soon as I started to gather
support, information and the resources to step out of the victim mind-set. 

Wherever you are along your journey I hope that I can help
you fast track your way to the great life you deserve.


Annie Kaszina, international Emotional Abuse Recovery specialist and award-winning author of 3 books designed to help women recognise and heal from toxic relationships so that they can build healthy, lasting relationships with the perfect partner for them, blogs about all aspects of abuse, understanding Narcissists and how to avoid them and building strong self-worth. To receive Annie’s blog direct to your Inbox just leave your details here.

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