How To Heal Your Heart

28 Aug 2007

What they don’t tell you in fairy tales is that every
Prince Charming has his own agenda – and it doesn’t match yours. Period. (Usually he’s trying to get away from
controlling parents.) 

You don’t actually need a Prince Charming to revive
you. You can do it perfectly well for
yourself. Hearts don’t shatter so badly
that they cannot become whole again

– unless you’d rather they stayed in little
pieces. Even hearts that have been pickled in bile can be
rehydrated to their former glory.

Healing your heart and getting over an abusive man is
really very much easier than it seems.

As I write this, I am fiddling with a 4 piece purple
plastic jigsaw on my desk. The point of
this puzzle is that it is impossible to take apart and put back together, until
you find the correct method. Once you
do so, the puzzle becomes simple. Emotional recovery is similar. 

First, you shift your focus away from the relationship and
your ex-partner onto yourself. 

Second, you commit to believing that you only have to make
tiny changes in what you do as often as you can to bring about massive
change. You do this without looking for
any specific miracles to turn up in your life in no time flat. (Miracles will come, you just have to be a
little bit patient and alert enough to pick up on the good things rather than
the bad.)

Third, you commit to one small act of self-care daily,
something you can realistically do. 

Fourth, you punish the beastly ‘shoulds’ instead of
yourself. (Why, oh why, have you let
the beastly ‘shoulds’ have all the fun, until now?) Each time a beastly ‘should’ rears its ugly, gnarled little head,
thank it kindly for thinking of you and tell it about something you have done
well. Spoil its day! You won’t even notice yourself rebuilding
your self-worth.

That’s all. If it
sounds too easy to be true, maybe it’s time to challenge your belief that
things have to be difficult. And if
you’re convinced I’m totally wrong, even downright crazy, try it. Prove me wrong! 

It’s a slow burn, not a magic wand. It may take weeks before you really notice a
lot of benefits, but it has worked for hundreds of women so far. Still it works far better and faster than
trying to use your head to heal a heart issue. But it’s your choice whether or not it will work for you.

If you feel you would like help in getting this to work
for you, then email me about 1-2-1 coaching.


Annie Kaszina, international Emotional Abuse Recovery specialist and award-winning author of 3 books designed to help women recognise and heal from toxic relationships so that they can build healthy, lasting relationships with the perfect partner for them, blogs about all aspects of abuse, understanding Narcissists and how to avoid them and building strong self-worth. To receive Annie’s blog direct to your Inbox just leave your details here.

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