Women’s Emotional Abuse Recovery

You know something?  You’re nice.
And bad things happen to nice people. 
It’s not a punishment for being nice.  It’s an occupational hazard for “doing nice”.
(I’m prepared to labor this point a little, because it really is key.  But abused women don’t get it the first or the second time.  It takes a LOT of getting your […]

There’s something you need to take on board about people: people don’t all work the same way.
Now, you may be wondering why I’m telling you something so blindingly obvious.  If you’ve been on this earth for more than 5 minutes, you already know that, don’t you?
It’s not quite that simple.  In reality, it seems to […]

We need to talk about your parents.
This is NOT about blame, I’m NOT suggesting we look at your parents in order to lay blame at their door for whatever has happened in your life.
Maybe there’s cause for blame, maybe there isn’t.  Let’s not go there.  You see, we’re in the business of making your life […]

Hey, you with the sad face, how did it happen?  How did you end up stuck in a lousy relationship with an abusive partner.

Every so often I come across a woman who’ll tell me that she was riding high when she met her abusive partner. While I know the woman who tells me that story […]

When bad things happen – like an abusive man tearing apart the fragile fabric of your life –it’s a huge thing to deal with. So, you really don’t want to feel in any way responsible for what happened to you.
A lot of women tell me they couldn’t possibly have seen it coming.  Nobody saw it […]

As the mother of three young children, Nuala is struggling to come to terms with walking away from an emotionally abusive husband.  She’s strong, she’s bright, she’s unusually clear about the reality of the situation – maybe because she’s a coach – and, like every other woman in her situation, she’s frightened.
She’s frightened about her […]

“You talk about the pursuit of happiness, don’t you?” my lovely partner said, looked at me almost accusingly.  (He doesn’t really do “accusing.” )
“Absolutely not”, I replied.  “As far as I can see, the faster you pursue happiness, the faster it runs away from you.”
The pursuit of happiness is a great and romantic notion.  Too often, […]

Live in “I’ll Be Happy When” mode…  much as you know that doesn’t work.     You won’t Be-Happy-When for two very good reasons; first because chances are it ain’t going to happen and, second, external events are never going to make you happy until you commit to making yourself happy, right here, right now.
Allow people close […]

As women, we pride ourselves on caring.  It’s something we do wonderfully well.  And it’s something even the most self-effacing of us pride ourselves on. We have a caring heart.  We want to save our loved ones – and possibly the World – with our caring.
So can we really care too much?
What do you think?
The […]

Have you noticed how often some people say: “I can’t”?
Maybe you’ve even been guilty of saying it yourself… once, or twice.  (I know I have.)
The trouble with “I can’t” is this: it sounds SO convincing, doesn’t it?  Something happens, the fears kick into play, and they trigger that well-worn “I can’t” mechanism.
“I CAN’T” flashes across […]