Women’s Emotional Abuse Recovery

This week, Misti emailed with the kind of query so many women have when they’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.  Here are her words:
“I’ve been in a relationship for the past three years. It’s been rough. I don’t know if I’ve been emotionally abused though. How do you know when it’s emotional abuse?”  
As I understand […]

Life with an emotionally abusive man is rather like being chained to a Misery-Go-Round. 
Is there such a thing? 
You bet there is.  It’s just that nobody has ever put a name to it before.  
I remember a particularly beautiful merry-go-round  that my daughter used to love.  She’d sit on it with a shining face, hating it […]

Have you ever felt like a weeble?
Being in an emotionally abusive relationship does nothing for your belief in you’re ability to make good decisions, does it? If you could fall for, and stay with, an emotionally abusive man you have cause to question at least some of the decisions you’ve made.  
The fact is, you […]

1)     “It’s not all bad.”  Well, no!!  He’s too good at what he does not to know that every so often he has to play Mr Nice Guy.  But what’s the ratio of good to bad?  And what do  his mood swings do for your mental, emotional, and physical, health?
2)     “It’s […]

Last week we looked at why you stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship when it went off track.  It happened, not least, because you lacked an internal compass.  
What happened when your emotionally abusive relationship started heading south, at speed?  
Because you didn’t have an internal compass, or sense of direction, you clung to the […]

As I write this, I’m sitting here grinning to myself.  A quick flick through the morning’s papers states that a study by Cornell University reveals “Relationships that start slowly are more satisfying in the end”.  Couples who waited longer (6 months +) to become physically intimate, generally, are more likely to enjoy lasting happiness.  
Why should […]

What happens when you “settle” – by which I mean, when you tolerate the first big upset in your relationship? 
I’d like to illustrate what happens, with a story – my own – and an image that may well make sense to you. 
Early in our relationship, the future wasband staged a rehearsal, a mini-tantrum, a small […]

This week one reader wrote to say; “You are teaching us how to love.  Thank you.”  Needless to say, I was deeply touched.  
Those of us who end up in emotionally abusive relationships do so because we know little or nothing about being loved well.  We know plenty about Attachment, Love’s ugly, much, much needier […]

This week, we’re going to turn our attention away from the anatomy of your abusive relationship, temporarily, to take a look at 10 things that could well be holding you back –  even if you’re no longer in your emotionally abusive relationship.  

Your bad habits.  Yes, I am pointing the finger at you.  It’s not The Finger […]

I hadn’t intended to write more about “doing nice” again this week.  I was going to talk about Mr Nasty.  But then I had a light bulb moment I really want to share with you. 
I had an appointment to speak with a woman who said she was a People-pleaser Extraordinaire.   Boy, was she right about […]