Recover From Emotional Abuse>Emotional Abuse

Have you ever used the seemingly innocent little phrase, “I know this sounds stupid but…” (or else its close relative, “I’m probably being stupid but…”)?  “I know this sounds stupid but…” is a  little phrase  that is common enough to pass more or less unnoticed.  But don’t be fooled. It is a little phrase can […]

Have you ever struggled to believe that your abusive, narcissistic partner can help it? Have you ever explained and excused their behaviour on the grounds that they don’t mean it or else have been so damaged that they can’t help themselves? If so, you might like to consider the different ways in which you and […]

Q. How would you know if your abusive, Narcissistic partner is really an emotional toddler?
A.  The chances are, you probably wouldn’t. For the longest time.  And the reason why is simple.  Once the dust settled and the shallow facade of charm disappeared, you had no option but to show up as an adult in the […]

Q.  How do you know who is the real victim in the situation when you are in a relationship with an abusive narcissist
A.  Chances are, you don’t feel not entirely sure.  Your partner has no doubt whatsoever that he (or she) is without blame, having been horribly and consistently wronged – by you (allegedly). You, […]

How could he treat me that way?” was the question that I asked myself endlessly when I was with my emotionally abusive partner.  In the years since, I have worked with many hundreds of women. None of them could come to terms with why an abusive partner treats you that way. Only much, much later […]

Did You Fall in Love with a Sales Pitch?
Have you ever said of your narcissistic and abusive partner, “But they have so much potential…”? If you have not, I would be truly surprised. “But they have so much potential…” is the thing that all partners of an abuser say.
Nobody that I have ever come across […]

 Love-bombing is not love
All toxic relationship start with a degree of love-bombing. Love-bombing is not love. Once the Narcissist/ emotional abuser/sociopath) has decided that you are their “mark” they start to shower you with love – or whatever the best approximation of love is that they can manage. Exclusive, too-much-too-fast, demanding – faintly icky love.  […]

“Why can’t they just love me back?” is the question that obsesses the partners of narcissists and emotional abusers. The same question, “Why can’t they just love me back?” also obsesses – and drives to the brink of despair and craziness – the children, and parents, of narcissists and emotional abusers. It’s incredibly hard to […]

Who doesn’t need an apology when they feel they have been wronged?  Not me, certainly.  I am a stickler for an apology.  I guess you are, too.  Especially if a person has grown up in a family where they experienced a lot of unfairness, they are likely to struggle with unfair treatment.
What unfairness tells you
The […]

When everything has to be a drama
Life with my emotionally abusive wasband, and with my parents before that, was full of drama.  I can’t say that I ever liked drama.  It was just the way things were. Drama was one of those things that pointed to their superiority.  As the wasband once said, “At least, […]