“How could he do that to me?” is a question emotionally abused women always ask themselves. And me. Underlying their question is the belief that there is no good answer.
They’re right, of course.
But then it’s not about goodness, at all. Goodness has NOTHING to do with it.
And it’s not just about your emotionally abusive partner. […]
When you’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you live with the belief that you can never recover from emotional abuse and be at peace until your emotionally abusive partner acknowledges what a jerk he was. Not that he is ever going to do that – which means that the rest of your life could […]
Everything has a purpose; even an emotionally abusive relationship. That’s what I choose to believe. Not least because it serves me far better than any other belief I’ve yet found – or heard – about emotionally abusive relationships.
So, what could possibly be the purpose of an emotionally abusive relationship?
You might well ask.
When I was […]
“Who matters to you?” is one question I rarely ask emotionally abused women; and there’s a reason why I don’t. That reason is simple: I don’t need to. Any emotionally abused woman I speak with will tell me very, very quickly.
In fact, there’s just one thing they might tell me before they get round to […]
Why do you love an emotionally abusive man? What keeps you from walking away, at top speed, once you start to see that you’ve got a BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free) – Mr Hyde as well as Dr Jekyll? What makes it so hard to walk away from a relationship which, at some level, you […]
What is it that makes a bright, attractive woman stay in a relationship – a bad relationship – with an emotionally abusive man? What gets in the way, and stops her from moving on, so she can recover from emotional abuse?
In the end, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.
Sure, emotionally abusive partners fall […]
There are a few things you need to understand about Little Johnny Manger, who we spoke about last week.
He’s the guy who makes such an unpleasant bedfellow – your unpleasant bedfellow; that’s something really important to understand. But he’s also pretty smart. His emotional age is DEFINITELY a single figure, and most probably a fairly […]
“You have to allow me to spend quality time with my children, I said to my emotionally abusive husband. You’re being unreasonable. Why can’t you just behave reasonably towards me? I’ve always tried to do everything I can to make you happy.”
You’d think, wouldn’t you, that a partner should show some consideration – especially where […]
Does your emotionally abusive partner deserve your forgiveness?
It’s an important question.
Emotionally abused women frequently ask me the Forgive and Forget question. It goes, approximately, like this:
“How do I forgive my emotionally abusive husband so that I can forget about what happened, reclaim my sanity, recover from emotional abuse, and move on?”
It’s a bad question.
Just look […]
How do you cope when times are tough?
My own experience, and that of my many clients, suggests that we get caught up in the emotions of a situation. When life slaps a glass -or a bucket – of bitter aloes in front of us, what do we do? We tend to drain it – dutifully […]
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.
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