Blog
How Did Your Narcissistic Partner Choose You?
How did your narcissistic partner identify you as a suitable target from Day 1? What were their criteria – because people as calculating as Narcissists undoubtedly are surely had some criteria in mind?
How could they know, right from the get-go, that you were worth the trouble of pursuing – inasmuch as they ever did pursue […]
How to Steer Clear of the Hornets’ Nest of Feeling Bad
“How do I stop myself from feeling bad?” my client asked. When we started working together, a few weeks earlier, she had been thinking non-stop about her ex. Was he really a Narcissist, or was she the Narcissist? Was everything her fault for not trying harder? Was she making a big mistake?
In fact, she was […]
“What Makes a Narcissistic Partner Stupid?”
“Why do you call my narcissistic partner stupid?”
“Why do you call my narcissistic partner stupid?” my lovely client asked. “He was much worse than that. That just doesn’t convey the mean, sick person that he is.”
Needless to say, my client’s ex-partner is a thoroughly horrible individual. He is one of those people who,
Has a short charm-span.
Holds out […]
Why an emotionally abusive relationship can never work
Why an emotionally abusive relationship can never work is the very last thing that the partner of an emotional abuser thinks about. Instead, that partner will spend a LOT of time thinking about what they can do to make it work.
Whoever said that the victims of emotional abuse aren’t optimistic?
Even if that optimism was misplaced.
When […]
Has Invisibility Ever Been A Problem For You?
This week, I am wondering how much invisibility has affected your life. I guess the reason for asking is that the week has offered me a couple of unexpected wake-up calls that made me think just how big a part invisibility plays in the mosaic of abuse.
When you stop to think about it, someone who […]
When you need to do relationships differently
All survivors of narcissistic abuse emerge feeling shell-shocked, diminished and deeply traumatized. Some resolve to rush headlong into the next relationship to exorcise the experience. Others decide that the only way to protect themselves in the future is to steer clear of love and intimate relationships forever after.
Both of these choices are, essentially, coping strategies. […]
Do You Invent The World That You See?
Have you ever had that experience when a few unexpected events come together and lead you to a shift in perspective? That is what happened to me this morning.
It started with someone on Instagram who, I feel, has a very dark energy. She posts to the effect that Narcissists are the innocent victims of evil […]
What is the most important thing a Narcissist steals from you?
What do you suppose is the most important thing that a Narcissist steals from you? Admittedly, that is one big question. However, it is a big question that needs to be asked. It can only help your healing if you can drill down to the core of the problem. How are you meant to heal […]
Are You Frightened of Making Mistakes?
Have you ever thought how closely the fear of making mistakes relates to the whole experience of emotional abuse?
Narcissists teach you that you have to attain their impossible standards of perfection in order to be good enough to be loved by them – and therefore, by extension, loved by anyone else in the entire world.
In […]
The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.