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Your hidden hurt

What makes it so hard to get over the pain, and the sheer awfulness, of your abusive relationship?

The answer seems obvious.

You might reply: “I’m hurting because of the things he said and did.  I just can’t get beyond that…”

And that’s true, of course.

The things your abusive partner said and did have had a very damaging […]

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“I’m not sure you can help me”

“I don’t know if you can help me…” Roberta said.
Her voice on the other end of the line sounded so young and vulnerable.
It’s always like this at the start of one of my programs.  Most of the women on the call don’t really believe things can get better for them, but they’ll give it one […]

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Does “chemistry” matter?

Does “chemistry” matter?
Most women seem to think it does.  In fact, most of the women I’ve worked with say they couldn’t contemplate a relationship with a man, unless they feel more or less instant chemistry with him.
If he’s a nice guy, but there’s no chemistry, then they don’t consider him partner material.
Whereas, if there is […]

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Confession of a former invisible woman

What makes a woman stand out?
Good looks don’t hurt.  But, if it were just a matter of looks, then your life would probably have taken a very different path.  Because one thing I know is this: it’s NOT because you are less attractive, less intelligent or less worthwhile than anyone else that you’ve ended up […]

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“Something’s holding me back…”

Dear Annie,
I am working on getting away from my abusive partner – although I am finding it   more and more difficult. I want to start a new life, but something is holding me back and I don’t know what.   I guess it’s fear.
Maybe one day I’ll feel strong enough!!!
Jolene
Dear Jolene,
“One day” […]

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“What will the neighbors think?”

“How did I learn to care so much what other people think of me, Annie?  And how can I stop?”
Nina
Dear Nina,
Let’s see what your question reveals about you.
It shows me that you’re a delightful, caring, warm-hearted, generous-spirited woman.  And you’re a people-pleaser, and a permission seeker; you’re desperate for other people to validate you.
Sadly, […]

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Your ability to be radiant

“Dear Annie,
Something is wrong with my life. I have been divorced from an emotionally abusive man for several years. I am living with a boyfriend who can’t find a job.  He doesn’t even seem to care anymore. He doesn’t talk nicely to me. I don’t work either.
My ex-husband and his girlfriend recently bought a house together. […]

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Not the normal type of abuse…

Hi Annie,
My husband was not verbally or physically abusive, but negligent.  He withheld affection, we didn’t go anywhere, do anything, communicate.  If I didn’t agree with him it was always his way and ‘not negotiable’. He would walk away from me rather than discuss anything and just tell me to leave him alone. Or […]

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Who taught you?

Dear Annie,
You are so good at describing any and all situations of abuse in a simple and clear manner. You are direct but respectful not to victimize us women for staying with these so called men we feel so in love with/addicted to.. Where did you get your training?

Barbara
Dear Barbara,
Thank you for your kind words. […]

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The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse.  Starting with the basics.