The 14 signs of emotionally abused women was not something I had given any thought – at least until I came across The 13 Characteristics of Adult
Children of Alcoholics. It made for interesting reading – even for someone, like me, who was not the child of an alcoholic.  It struck a chord with me. Alcoholism is by no means the only ‘lifestyle’ that causes serious damage to family members.

So, I’ve rewritten theDr Woititz’s piece for emotionally abused women. Thinking about it, I realized that abused women go one better – or worse: there are 14 signs that emotionally abused women all share.

Who even knew?

Why the 14 signs of emotionally abused women are so powerful

We tell ourselves that how we feel, and what we have been through stems from the fact that we are uniquely disastrous as human beings, and women.

That’s just not true. Emotionally abused women feel responsible for everything that happens in their relationship without understanding what goes on inside the head of their abusive husband.

What’s more, abused women bear the many scars of the experiences they have been through, and not healed.  Once they have healed those experiences, they are ‘good to go’, as it were, and live their lives with a clean slate.

My point in creating – or more correctly, noting – the 14 signs of emotionally abused women is this, to:

Spread awareness of the damage that an emotionally abusive relationship invariably inflicts on the partner who has been repeatedly abused.

To put it as simply as possible:

If an emotionally abusive partner habitually trashes his partner’s feelings and trust, these are the 14 ways in which she is guaranteed to respond.

It is as simple as an action and reaction thing: when X does Y, the result will be Z.

When you add baking powder to a cake made with flour the cake will rise. When you add constant, calculated putdowns to an intimate partner, you will deflate them, as surely as… eggs are eggs.

So here’s the important piece that most emotionally abusive women completely miss:

Signs are not the same as nature. 

“Say what, Annie!!?”

Signs show up as behaviors. Behaviors can be learned and can unlearned.

The true nature of an individual may be eclipsed by those signs for months, years or even decades…

But it  never goes away.  It’s still there.

Clear the signs – and let there be no doubt, you can clear away those signs – and your true character and nature will emerge, strengthened by your experience.

The 14 signs of emotionally abused women

Over my years of working with thousands of women these sign are always, all present. 

Sign #1 Abused women have to guess at what normal behavior is. 

Sign #2 Abused women have difficulty maintaining their focus and drive. 

Sign # 3Abused women are often paralyzed by their own negativity so that they find it hard to start something new and have an uphill struggle to see it through. 

Sign #4 Abused women judge themselves without mercy. 

Sign #5 Abused women feel they always have to justify themselves. 

Sign #6 Abused women have difficulty being lighthearted. 

Sign #7 Abused women have difficulty trusting. 

Sign #8 Abused women take everything very seriously. 

Sign #9 Abused women overreact and catastrophize even over small problems. 

Sign #10 Abused women faithfully store every last criticism they experience and they discount any praise that comes their way. 

Sign #11 Abused women need approval and affirmation and tend to look for it in all the wrong places – i.e. Mr Nasty. 

Sign #12 Abused women usually feel that they are different from other people as a result of their relationship. 

Sign #13 Abused women are extremely loyal – especially to their emotionally abusive partner- despite all the evidence that he is unworthy of that loyalty.

Sign #14 Abused women envisage a future that will be just as hard and painful as their present and, most probably, their past.

Whether or not you feel able to shift these 14 signs of emotionally abused women right now, please bear in mind that they are not who you are.  They are imposed on you by the circumstances in which you either live, or have lived.  They do not have to be an integral part of you.

If you have been affected – or know someone who has – by the 14 signs of emotionally abused women, be sure to share this on social media, and get the word out to others who will benefit from it.

Warm wishes for your healing and happiness,

Annie Kaszina