This week I was talking to my dear friend Shoshana
Garfield about selling my house. 5+
years after ejecting the Horrid Ex-Husband from my life, I’m still living in
the ex-marital home. While very
grateful to be left with a roof over my head, I have looked forward for years
to the day when the house would sell.

Why has it taken so long? In the last 2 months it has gone from being ‘too small’ and ‘ill
favoured’ in the eyes of the viewers, to having ‘good sized rooms’ and being
‘delightful’. What’s changed? Physically, nothing at all. No redecoration, no clutter clearing – I’d
done all that ages ago.

Only two things have changed about the house. 

The first is my attitude to it. Working with Shoshana, I ceased to be
resentful about a lot of bad feelings that I had associated with the
house. The second is that I changed my
thinking. Instead of wondering: “will
this house ever sell?” and on a very bad day: “Will I be here until I die?”
I started accepting my worst case scenario which, in the end, is not that
bad. I also started visualizing how
this house would sell and the next home I will buy.

I say this not as someone who routinely sits down and
visualizes. It’s actually something I
have struggled with for years. And
still do, although to a lesser degree. I can still find it hard to keep my focus on the thing that I want to
happen rather than the thing(s) I fear may happen. (My programming from childhood on was to worry about the bad
things that could and most probably would happen.)

But here’s the thing; in the last couple of weeks I have
done two things differently. First, I
have stayed with my fears – not just my fears regarding the house – and I have
accepted the worst case scenario. Strange to say, it’s a curiously liberating process. 

As I piled on more and more of my dreads, rather than
feeling depressed or terrified I became bored! Instead of allowing The Dreads to make their usual back-stabbing attack,
I ‘eyeballed’ them. And my mind chose
more positive outcomes. A fascinating
role reversal occurred so that my positive thoughts sabotaged the negative ones
rather than the other way round. 

Second, I visualized the house selling, and the buyers
have turned up and the whole process is going ahead very much in the way that I
visualized it happening. 

So here I am faced with all the evidence that I need to
think: “hey, this actually works! I
started to focus on my desire rather than my fear, for a change, and it is
coming about.”

Okay, the process has not been easy. But then I anticipated a struggle with the
purchasers trying to knock the price down, which is exactly the way it has
been. 

In the course of my conversation with Shoshana I said to
her that I expected I would have to face all kinds of challenges in buying the
next property, and that I would have to choose between my heart and my
head. Shoshana simply asked me: why
couldn’t I satisfy both? Why couldn’t it be easy?

The answer is that I was still running the old programming
and anticipating difficulties. So now I
am starting to visualize a better, gentler way of doing it. I am also trusting rather than obsessing
about what I want coming into being. 

Can we really call into being what we visualize? More and more, quantum physics suggests the
likelihood of this. 

Quantum physics is all Greek to some of us, including
me. But which is a more useful belief:
that we can create the good things that we focus on, or that we remain stuck
with the bad things that we worry about? 

As I write this I remember a quotation that I internalized
many, many years ago. It was something
to the effect that remembering happy times past when you had fallen on hard
times would destroy your sanity. Maybe
so. 

But believing that there will be good times again in even
in your darkest hours preserves your sanity by giving you reason and faith to
go on. Without those, why bother? 

Maybe you have been picturing the things that you regret
because, in a bad relationship, that is what you have been led to believe you
have to do. 

Actually, you don’t. You are still free to enjoy abundance as much as anyone else. You still have a perfect right to visualize
abundance. What’s more, with a bit of
practice, you will become good at it. Visualizing abundance will only be hard until the results first start
showing up in your life. Then it gets
seriously interesting.