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How Do You Know When A Relationship Is Bad Enough To Leave?
Anyone who has ever come out of an abusive relationship has faced the unnecessarily cruel question, “Well, why did you stay so long?” The answer to that is, of course, a complicated tangle of reasons, many of which we cannot even formulate – including this one: “Because I honestly couldn’t be sure that the relationship […]
Do You Want The Low-Down On Sulking?
Do You Want The Low-Down On Sulking?
Do you recognise a sulker when you come up against one? I certainly did not. That was why I remained married to one for two decades. Plus, I was used to sulkers – my parents were spectacular sulkers. In fact, sulking seemed like quite normal behavior in the context […]
What Do You Feel About Anger?
You learn to be afraid of anger from toxic people who use anger to abuse and control. But anger does not have to be used abusively.
How to Recognise a Toxic Apology
As someone who has been abused by loved ones who should have known better – and cared more – apologies are probably deeply important to you, as they are to me. Being ill-treated is already bad enough. But being ill-treated and then, effectively, abused all over again by the absence of a sincere apology is […]
Just when you think you’ve resolved an emotional block…
Have you ever noticed how, just when you think you have resolved an emotional block – or, at least, clambered over it in more or less ungainly fashion – Life throws a more “advanced” version of the same issue at you?
That is what happened to me this week.
The common thread of “niceness”
It was one of […]
Can You Ever Rewind an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?
Is there a way to rewind an emotionally abusive relationship? Have you ever wished that you could? By the time that you walk away so many things have been said and done that would have been better unsaid and done. Plus, there are so many things that you as, victim and survivor, need to say […]
How to avoid growing into your narcissistic mother
“How do I avoid growing into my narcissistic mother?”
“How do I avoid growing into my narcissistic mother?” my client asked. I could relate to the anguish in her voice.
When I gave birth to my daughter, I didn’t know the first thing about Narcissists. However, I did know that I absolutely did not want to bring […]
Do You Forget to Consider Your Own Needs?
This week, I had one of those realizations that shock a person to the core. I was reminded that old programming and patterns of behavior really do die hard. They can resurface – unbidden – when you least expect it. For me, this has been one of those weeks.
An incident not too trivial to […]
The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.
