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how not to make a special case of a Narcissist

You know how, in a narcissistic relationship, you end up always making excuses and allowances for them? On the one hand, you know that their behavior is awful but on the other, they have so much “potential” and the relationship is “special” and…

You know how, in a narcissistic relationship, you end up always making excuses […]

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How to talk to difficult people – that you really don’t want to talk to

If you were fortunate enough to live in abuse survivor heaven, you would never need to speak to a narcissistic ex-partner, parent or family member again.
Sadly, in the real world, that is not always what happens.
For one reason or another, you can feel it is incumbent on you to continue to have some kind of […]

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Why behaving like a normal adult around a Narcissist won’t work

“Our lives are all about communicating in an adult way. Sulkers can change with loving, people who teach them how to laugh; laughter is contagious. Please have a wonderful life—it’s Short.” So writes “Bettina Sweet” [really?] in the comments on my post about The Low-Down on Sulking.
Clearly, I am not as sweet a person as Bettina […]

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Is it me?

As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, how do those three little words, “Is it me?” connect with you?
When I saw them in my Inbox today, they made me feel very sad.
The email read,
“I keep thinking about joining the Break Free Membership. But then I think is it me? I try to think before I speak. […]

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An important learning for survivors of narcissistic abuse from the story of The Three Pigs

What do you think is the biggest hold that a Narcissist has on the people who love them?
In the end, it comes down to fear. That fear manifests in a multitude of concerns including:

I won’t be able to cope on my own – financially or emotionally.
They’ll replace me effortlessly thereby proving how worthless I am.
One […]

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How I got to rewrite my story despite having given up on myself

Today, I want to share with you how I got to rewrite my story, despite having given up on myself.

Fairly early on in my healing journey, I met the exceptional Face Reader, Glenna Trout. She took me in in one long look and said,

“You’re someone who let’s your clothes do the talking.”

Well, I guess that […]

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One Secret to Surviving a Narcissist When the Gloves Are Off

“How do I become unshakable?” my client asked me. Newly separated from her narcissistic partner – who sees no benefits to himself in ending the relationship – she was reeling from his constant mind games.
Like all Narcissists who are not ready for the relationship to end, he is throwing everything that he has at her, […]

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A lesson only just learned from my Narcissistic ex

This week, I am enjoying one of those things that I had forgotten all about in the pandemic – a holiday.
But there was something I really wanted to share with you.
So I am channeling Mark Twain, who apparently said, “I didn’t have time to write a short letter so I wrote a long one […]

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How the Need for Closure Can Get In the Way of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

“I just want closure” my client said. Haven’t we all said that at some point? And what we meant was, approximately, that they would leave us with some kind of 4-5 star review on Relationship Trip Advisor.  “Great nature, good heart, plenty of empathy, a warm loving environment. Can heartily recommend” our ex-partner would say.  […]

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Why Narcissists can turn their backs on you so easily

Some Narcissists are long-stay, others not so much. Still, it always comes as a shock when the person who had vowed to love you, discards you like yesterday’s pizza box. When that happens, it is perfectly normal to end up asking yourself that most self-defeating question:
“How could they treat me that way?”
The question sucks, of […]

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The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse.  Starting with the basics.

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