Not all women are abused at some point in there life – although a lot are. Not a lot of us are taught how to make good relationships. Instead, we’re taught how to put ourselves last. After 7 years of research, I’ve written a report about how women are PROGRAMMED to sabotage their relationship chances.
For every abused woman, the ‘reality check’ kicks in, at some point. Something makes you realize how profoundly miserable you are in your abusive relationship. The towels that are the gift you get for marrying the wrong guy, the dream about the timeshare that’s never going to come true, the fight because you’re wearing the wrong shoes. Finally, you see the light. t’s never going to get any better.
Your abusive partner is only ever going to get worse.
I remember Oprah talking about a difficult situation. She asked, “What is the lesson here, let me learn it quick so I can move on.” What about you? Have you asked the Universe for the lesson? Try journaling by using both hands. With your dominant hand ask, “What is the lesson?” and with your non-dominant hand, write the answer.
You don’t need to think about dating, to start to upgrade the view you have of yourself. Amy Spencer provides you with some great tools to discover how fantastic you really are. Your abusive partner had a vested interest in turning you into the shadow of a person. That is what it takes for him to feel worthwhile and important. But you don’t have to go there.
In an abusive relationship, you disappear from your own map of the world. You only have to listen to an abused woman. You only have to listen to yourself. You have your list of priorities: your partner, your children, your pet… And then nothing… Look down far enough and you will eventually find yourself, at the very bottom of the heap: the Woman Who Believed She Didn’t Matter.
Abusive men are brilliant at activating the anxious, disempowered child within you. They do this to disorient and disempower the competent adult that you have become. In time, with enough input from an abusive man, it’s easy to forget that you are a competent adult. It’s easy to believe that you are the pitiful creature an abusive partner says you are; precisely because his words confirm the child’s tendency to feel hopeless and helpless.
Many women want to be free of an abusive partner, or ex-partner, and yet can’t quite let go. From a logical standpoint it makes no sense at all. But why should it? One woman’s words sum up the problem perfectly: “What is that part of me that endlessly holds out the hope that he has grown and won’t be a jerk?”
Nobody ever deserves to get hooked into an abusive relationship, but that is exactly what does happen to a lot of us. In fact, the statistics suggest that 1 in 4 women will undergo domestic violence – and that probably doesn’t include those of us who “only” suffer mental and emotional abuse.
The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.