Recover From Emotional Abuse>Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse creates a deep sense of loss.  It takes you into an acutely painful place of exclusion.  It leads you to look at the rest of the world and see everyone else as other than you.  Other in the sense of happier and more blessed. From where you are standing, that feels horribly real […]

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again.” said Robert the Bruce, allegedly.  On the strength of that pronouncement, Robert sounds a likely candidate for patron saint of victims of emotional and narcissistic abuse. The strategy of all abuse victims is to keep trying harder. But what are the contraindications? What are […]

What makes it so hard to let go of an abusive, Narcissistic partner?  Where do you find an answer that makes sense to the abused partner and the concerned onlooker?  Love is the most  commonly cited “reason”.  But is that really accurate?  Do people really love the partner who abuses them?
When pressed, the abused partner […]

What do you do about an abusive grandparent, parent or other senior? What happens when they reappear in your adult life in full abusive mode?  And why does it happen, anyway?
Most commonly it happens when, as they perceive it, you are denying them something that they feel entitled to. That “something” can change from person […]

You don’t have to be with a narcissistic, emotional abuser for long before your sense of common decency is outraged. The longer you are with them, the more frequent the outrage – and the more your heart breaks.  You find yourself asking two questions over and over again, “How can they even behave like that?” […]

 Did your induction into the crazy, skewed world of abusive people start in childhood? That is how it works for many of us. We were born into damaged – and damaging – families. Our parents  or other family members  likely grew up in an environment where their own emotional needs were rarely met – at […]

Abused empaths take responsibility for everything that happens to them – regardless of whether it is in any way their fault.  Abusers, on the other hand, spray accusations all around them like bullets, taking responsibility for precisely NONE of the mayhem that they cause.
According to their own narrative, abusers are never responsible for any of […]

 How do you accept that something that started out so good could turn to dust and ashes?  Surely, The Good Times that you shared with a Narcissistic Partner must count for something?
How do you make sense of what happened?
Survivors of a Narcissistic relationship have an extraordinarily hard time of it.  They struggle to make sense […]

 “But I still love them…” say so many ex-partners of emotional abusers. These partners can tell stories of rejection, emotional cruelty and disrespect that would appall a half-way sympathetic bystander. How could anyone love such a callous, toxic monster? the bystander would wonder.
How indeed?
In an ideal world, the abuse survivor would simply turn the page […]

How do you heal from emotional abuse? is a question that I get asked a lot. Most recently by a worker for a domestic violence charity. “There is”, she said, “ a lot of information about toxic people out there. There are a lot of online forums in which people can share experiences – which […]