Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, once an abusive relationship broke up, all the emotional damage magically disappeared? Just the way some people wish it would, when they don’t understand – and don’t want to understand – about the reality of emotional abuse.
You and I know it’s not that easy. There are layers and layers of […]
“Dear Annie, What can you do when you have been out of the relationship a while and you’re on a sort of plateau? Life is better (obviously), and you no longer need to “fight” as much, with yourself or him, but you know you’re nowhere near over it? How do you move on from there?” […]
“I still don’t understand my own behavior. When my partner started pushing me around physically, I left. Before that, I let him literally run my life! He was emotionally abusive and had HUGE control issues. Yet, I didn’t see his behavior for what it truly was for a very long time. I just coped, and […]
Does “chemistry” matter?
Most women seem to think it does. In fact, most of the women I’ve worked with say they couldn’t contemplate a relationship with a man, unless they feel more or less instant chemistry with him.
If he’s a nice guy, but there’s no chemistry, then they don’t consider him partner material.
Whereas, if there is […]
“Dear Annie,
Something is wrong with my life. I have been divorced from an emotionally abusive man for several years. I am living with a boyfriend who can’t find a job. He doesn’t even seem to care anymore. He doesn’t talk nicely to me. I don’t work either.
My ex-husband and his girlfriend recently bought a house together. […]
Dear Annie,
You are so good at describing any and all situations of abuse in a simple and clear manner. You are direct but respectful not to victimize us women for staying with these so called men we feel so in love with/addicted to.. Where did you get your training?
Barbara
Dear Barbara,
Thank you for your kind words. […]
Abused women don’t give up easily on a bad relationship or an abusive man. Tammy Wynette’s “Stand by your man” could have been written for them. For as long as they hope the last glimmer of life and hope is still there, they are prepared to give the relationship one more try. Which is where the question: “Will counselling help?” comes in. Usually, abused women want two things from coaching:
One of the wounds that abused women have received is, undoubtedly, the wound of naivety. We tend to believe too readily. We are too easily deceived. Where are abusive partners are concerned, this costs us dear.
What do you say to the girl who “just wants to help” her abusive partner? Why “helping” an abusive man never helps him, or you.
“Why is it that the feeling of waiting for him to call me to tell me that he is sorry and that he loves me won’t go away? How do I let go of the feelings of wanting him to show up and be the prince I want in my life?”
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.
Want daily reassurance and inspiration? Sign up to my Instagram account. @dr_anniephd