Blog
“What Should I Do About My Abusive Husband?”
My husband has been verbally abusive since we got married 10 years ago. His abuse is getting harder to bear and I am beginning to hate him for the abuse. What should I do?
“What Seeds Have You Planted Beneath The Snow?”
I had become aware that the fear and shame that grew out of my abusive relationship were still ‘drivers’ in my life. And I wanted to clear them.
“Can’t Get Him Out Of My Head”
As regards you still being in love with him and unable to get him out of your head, yes, I hear that. I hear it all the time from women in your situation. What it is really about is you desperately wanting to feel loved, needed and validated. Somehow you need his love right now – or you think you do – to feel any love for yourself.
Sorry to tell you, but that really isn’t healthy.
Better news is that it passes.
“I Must Have Been Mad”
It is only when we take responsibility for our own situation that we can claim the power to change it. For as long as ‘things’ happen to us, we can only react. We are at the mercy of the world outside ourselves. Saying that you must have been mad is a first step out of ‘victimhood’.
“What are the Stages of Healing from an Abusive Relationship?”
The stages of healing from an abusive relationship follow no particular time scale and some of them may well overlap. Expect to regress from time to time at each step along the way. That is normal, even predictable. It is also unimportant as regards the final outcome. Each stage will take you further on your journey back to health and wholeness.
“For The First Time In My Life I Feel Someone Is There For Me”
An abused woman will always tell you how hopeless and helpless and meaningless she is without her partner. She will tell you that she is nothing. In fact, she will be so convinced that she is a complete zero that she won’t even see and hear the reality.
“I Know I’m Being Silly But…”
Blame is a great way that abusive men avoid dialogue. They avoid it because they could lose. They won’t tell you about their innermost feelings, only the hurt that you’ve caused and the faults you’ve committed. Normally when an adult woman talks about being silly, whether or not she knows it, she is using that playground language to minimize her profound feelings of distress. The kind of silliness that abused women reproach themselves for is about ‘messing up’ and feeling needy and stupid and pathetic. That kind of silliness reduces you to a powerless child trying desperately to curry favour with a cross, punitive adult.
Have You Struggled To Stay In A Bad Relationship?
An abuses woman engages in a superhuman struggle to stay in a bad relationship. She will even talk about ‘fighting to save the relationship’ or the man. The last thing she will ever truly consider doing is walking away. She experiences more sadness at the thought of leaving than she does about staying, whatever the cost to her of staying.
Is Sheryl Gascoigne A “Woman Who Loves Too Much”?
Let us not forget that Sheryl Gascoigne was a battered wife. This recent news suggests that she is still exhibiting the characteristics of a battered wife: the self-sacrificing love, the willingness to keep working at a relationship, the belief against all odds that there still can be a happy ending…
The 5 Simple Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Over the next 5 days, I'll send you some lessons and tips that I've found have really helped women to heal from narcissistic abuse. Starting with the basics.