victim mind-set

Old Feelings Have Powerful Hooks

20 February 2008

Between having a victim identity or no identity, the victim identity has to be preferable.

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The Payoffs Of Being A Victim

10 February 2008

Being a victim means you get to claim the moral high ground, because of his appalling treatment of you. (Sure, it’s pretty lonely and cold up there, but still it feels better than being down in the mud where he kept you.)

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“It’s the time of year when…”

23 December 2007

It’s that time of year again, the time of year when, so the hype goes, everything in your life should be rosy. If your life is not rosy, it can be especially hard to have to admit the failure of a relationship in which you invested so much.

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How To Fill The Bottomless Pit Of Hopelessness

12 October 2007

Emotional abuse leaves you feeling like a bottomless pit. You attempt to fill that pit with whatever wisdom, support and information you can garner. And the pit still seems bottomless. Everything seems to disappear into it. Until one day you reach critical mass

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“Victims blame…”

2 June 2006

Whoever it was who said: “With one leg in the past and one foot in the future, you can only urinate on the present” was right. With one eye firmly on her past perceived shortcomings and the other on the bleak future that she knows (and how, pray, can she know for sure?) will surely come to pass, S. is blind to all the opportunities and satisfactions that the present might afford her.

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